Due to the fact that there is a close connection between true religion and orthodox manners, the holy Prophet (PBUH) specified the first and foremost objective of his Mission, and the ideal approach to his Islamic Call, saying, “ I have been sent as an instructor, I have been sent to perfect human manners”. The first and foremost objective of the holy Prophet’s Call is to lay down the foundations  human ethics for the individual and society, which symbolizes the price of happiness in the present world and the world to come through wisdom and good counsel rather than insult or reproach. It has been rightly said, “Teach and do not insult; verily, an instructor is much better than an insulter”.

Close examination of the Holy Koran and Prophetic Sunnah and tradition  reveals a close connection between true Faith and good manners. To this effect, Allah, the All-High, says, “Have you seen him who denies the Religion (of Islamic Monotheism)? That is he who repulses the orphan (harshly)” [107: 1-2]. He also says, “But if they answer you not, then know that they only follow their own lusts.” [28;50]  In this context, the Holy Prophet (PBUH), says, “None can claim true Faith unless he be trustworthy; and none can claim true Faith unless he keeps his promise ….”, he also says; “True faith and modesty are always coupled, should one be excluded, then the other would not exist.”

True faith, therefore, is the basis of all virtues; it curtails vices and purifies human conscience. The holy Prophet made it clean that the best Muslims are the best behaved; that the dearest to Allah are the best in good manners; that the closest to the Messenger of Allah are the ones possessed of good manners; that the best Divine Favor bestowed upon man is good manners; that nothing is weightiest in man’s scales on the Day of Judgment than good manners; that a true believer, through his good manners, attains the rank of someone who fasts the day and stands the night in prayer and supplication; that man can reach the highest degrees of honor on the Day of Judgment by his good manners; and that good manners blot out sins, just as water melts away ice, whereas bad manners corrupt one’s work just as vinegar corrupts honey.

In Sahih Muslim, we read that the Messenger of Allah once asked his Companions, “Do you know who is penniless?” They answered, “The one who has got neither wealth nor property.” He (PBUH) said, “A penniless one is someone who comes on the Day of Judgment with prayer, fasting and alms-giving; but he has cursed that one, accused another, devoured a third’s  money unlawfully, shed a fourth’s blood and hit a fifth. This one will be given some of his good deeds; and that one will be given some of his deeds, until all his good deeds are wasted; then he will bear some of their evil deeds, and finally he will be cast into the Fire.”

In fact, Truth always comes between two extremes, virtue  hides between two vices, perfection is in moderation and imperfection is in extremism; yet modesty sometimes turns into mere humility or arrogance; and in both positions modesty deviates from its proper course desired by Allah.

Man’s outer modest appearance might sometimes conceal a great deal of  conceit and selfishness. This is because ostensible modesty is indispensable for the achievement of materialistic interests. But such an attitude is completely alien to real modesty; it is rather a cunning attitude based on one’s personal interests.

Pride and Majesty are  to be attributed to the Lord of all worlds, the One and Only, Who created and shaped all things in due proportion, Who foreordained and guided, Who is the Sovereign, Whose Power dominates all things, Whose Divine Light and Majesty render people’s minds amazed and dazzled.

“ So all the praises and thanks be to Allah, the Lord of the heavens and the Lord of the earth, and the Lord of the Alamin (mankind, Jinn and all that exists). And His (alone) is the Majesty in the heavens and the earth, and He is the All-Mighty, the All-Wise”.[XLV; 36-37]

Slaves of Allah humiliate themselves to Him rightly and with the Truth, because He is the Great Creator, the Most Merciful Lord, the Wise Disposer, the Beneficent, the Lord of Power, the Owner of Majesty and Honor, the whole matter returns to Him.

“Until when the earth is clad with its adornments and is beautified, and its people think that they have all the power of disposal over it, Our command reaches it by night or by day and We make it like a clean-mown harvest, as it had not flourished yesterday” [X; 24]

All fates of His slaves are at His Disposal and Will. And they are in best condition when they submit their foreheads to their Lord and surrender themselves to him and turn in repentance to Him.  Then, they will  know their real value and position, and they will remain in that position and never go further. The Prophet (PBUH) said:” whoever has inside his heart any arrogance, even as little as the weight of a grain of mustard seeds, he will not enter Paradise.”[1]

An arrogant man is an impudent bad person who claims to himself things that he never owns. And arrogance is a collection of bad manners on top of which is denying the rights of others, ignoring reality, being bad-tempered, disbelieving in the Destiny of Allah, and disgracing favor.

Sometimes man ignores facts of monotheism or holds false beliefs based on polytheism; and he humiliates himself and accepts to be inferior in both his belief and life for one of these two reasons: fear on his provision or life, although Allah informed us that no one has the authority on these two things (i.e. provisions or lives of human beings); and if all creatures gathered to prevent anything that Allah gives, or to give anything that Allah prevents they will not be able to do so. Allah All mighty says: “Whatever of mercy Allah may grant to mankind, none can withhold it, and whatever He may withhold, none can grant it thereafter”. [XXXV; 2] He also says: ”And if Allah touches you with hurt, there is none who can remove it but He; and if He intends any good for you, there is none who can repel His Favor which He causes to reach whomsoever of His slaves He will. And He is the Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful”. [X; 107]

Such humiliation, entailed by polytheism and fear, has nothing to do with modesty.

Another kind of humiliation that has nothing to do with modesty is that of remissness or negligence, when man neglects his duties, does not do his job properly, or mistreats people. Then, blame and reproach will fall on him because of his remissness or negligence.

So, the humiliation of the slave to his fellow slave is rejected; and in Islam it is forbidden for a Muslim to humble himself to others than Allah. Allah says, “So do not become weak (against your enemy), nor be sad, and you will be superior (in victory) if you are indeed (true) believers”.[III; 139]

In this context, the Holy Prophet (PBUH) says, “Whoever humbles himself (to others than Allah) willingly not forcedly he is not one of us (Muslims)”.

Anas bin Malek, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet (PBUH) said, “Whoever is sad on this life, he is discontented with Allah; and whoever complains of an affliction that has befallen him, he complains of Allah; and whoever humbles himself to a rich man to get some money, he brings upon himself the Wrath of Allah”.

In another narration, “Whoever humbles himself to a rich man, two thirds of his belief will be destroyed”.

So the believer should not humble himself,  “Do not seek your needs humbly, because all matters are predestined” And it has been rightly said, “To be in need of a person (for money or whatever) is like to be his prisoner; to be not in need of him means to be equal to him; and to do a favor to him means to be his master. The real honor of a Muslim is his standing in prayer in the night, and his real dignity comes when he is not in need of anybody.

A Muslim’s dignity and pride concerning himself, his religion, and his Lord, is the pride of belief, which has nothing to do with the pride of arrogance and tyranny. The pride of belief is something that prevents a Muslim from humbling himself to anybody, or to follow him like a tail. This pride makes a Muslim disdain the temptations of this present life and hate false claims of people. It makes him like to serve Muslims and be humble and modest with them, and respect the religion which unites them. This is the essence of rectitude and honor in both abodes: “Whosoever desires honor, power and glory, then to Allah belong all honor.” [XXXV; 10]

The price of dignity and pride, however, is the consciousness of one’s duties and responsibilities. Nobody should not ask for their rights before they fulfill their duties. For example if you are demanded of a duty and you do it correctly and properly, then no one can scold you or embarrass you, whether he is from a higher or a lower rank. And then you can preserve your dignity and pride. And even the worst enemy will respect you when you fill all gaps from which blames or scolding might come. To this effect, Allah All Mighty says, “For those who have done good is the best (reward, i.e. paradise) and even more   (i.e. having the honor of glancing at the Countenance of Allah); neither darkness nor dust nor any humiliating disgrace shall cover their faces. They are the dwellers of Paradise, they will abide therein forever. And those who have earned evil deeds, the recommence of an evil deeds is the like thereof, and humiliating disgrace will cover them (their faces). No defender will they have from Allah. Their faces will be covered, as it were, with pieces from the darkness of night. They are dwellers of fire, they will abide therein forever”.[X; 26-27] The holy Prophet (PBUH) said: ”Beware of every thing you might be sorry for.”

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After we talked about arrogance, humiliation, and its reasons, and pride and dignity and their factors. It is nice to talk about the humbleness and modesty, modesty of the noble not the low, the strong not the weak, the victorious not the defeated, the respectful not the despicable, modesty of true believers who believe that all the command belongs to Allah, not modesty of  polytheists whose hearts are full of fear, modesty of those who fulfill their duties properly not of the neglectful, modesty of those who carry out their jobs properly, not of the indifferent, and modesty of the good-doers and not the evil ones. What supports this meaning is that the origin of the word “Modesty” is to feign  humbleness towards other fellow humans out of love and compassion and not out of real humiliation.

Modesty, in its reality, is a right outlook to the Greatness of the Creator of the Universe and a real feeling of the weakness of man and a noble behavior based on discipline and good-doing.  It is also a manifestation of the servitude of man to his Creator and the result of his feeling that he is in need of His Grace. It is indeed not a clever behavior based on interest, a psychological disorder based on illusion or a blurred view, negligence or carelessness.

Modesty is the best virtue; and it is between humiliation and arrogance: “Not every one who prays is called a prayer, I accept Prayer only from him who humbles himself to My Majesty”

The most precise definition of Modesty is “it is the submission on the part of the slave (of Allah ) to the Truth, and sincere adherence to it.”

And whoever rejects to follow the Truth, Allah degrades, despises, and disrespects him. And whoever rejects to follow the Truth even if it comes from a child or an enemy, his rejection is against Allah, because Allah is the Truth, His speech is the Truth, His religion is the Truth; and “the Truth” is one of His Divine Attributes; and the Truth comes from Him and returns to Him.

And when the Prophet (PBUH) defined arrogance, he said:” It is the rejection of the Truth, and the disdain of people”

By virtue of the above Hadith, the holy Prophet (PBUH) defined Modesty indirectly when he defined the arrogance, since arrogance “is the rejection of the Truth and the disdain of people”

Hence, Modesty is “submission to the Truth and respect of people.” Therefore, it has been rightly said, “Whoever knows himself, knows his Lord; whoever does not know himself is a vain person; and whoever reflects on the Power of Allah with the eye of knowledge, realizes how weak his is, and whoever looks at the Greatness of his Lord realizes how despicable his is, and his self vanishes at the Majesty of his Lord.”

True believers are people whose hearts Allah empties from arrogance; and He Most Merciful makes His love their pure drink, prolongs their standing at the door of His service, and makes their only desire to be closer and loved, and their fear to become farther or disliked. They fear His torment and bow their heads to Him in reverence. If they humble themselves, it is only for his Honor; if they humiliate themselves, it is only for His Glory; if they aspire, it is only to His grace; and if they surrender, they do that only to His Majesty and Wisdom. Such people are poor only to Allah, they are proud of their being slaves to Him, and they depend only on Him. He is their great Treasure, their Honor , their Pride, their Lord, and their Purpose.

Say to those who are standing at the door of others than Allah, “how great your disgrace is!”, to those who work to others than Allah, “What big losers you are!”, to those who hope for others than Allah, “how wretched you are!” and to those who seek others than Allah, “how wasted your actions are!”

These are some theoretical terms of the aspects of Modesty, but where are the practical applications? In fact, the division between theoretical ideals and  practical reality, between what should be and what is being, is completely rejected in Islam. This is because Islam raised reality to the level of ideal, and prepared the ideal to be reality, and produced what is known as idealistic reality, or realistic ideals,

Here is a practical example of the character of the holy Prophet (PBUH):

The Prophet (PBUH) was very modest and polite. He always took the initiative in greeting people, faced whom he talked to with all his face, whether the speaker was young or an old. When he shook hands with another person, he never pulled his hand back till the other did. When he paid charity he put it with his hand in the hand of the poor. If he came to an assembly he sat wherever he found a place. He was not seen stretching his legs. He did not reject to do his job and to fulfill his need or the need of his neighbor and friend. He carried his goods with his own hands and said, “I am worthier to carry it”, and responded to the call of slaves and the needy. He accepted  excuses. He cleaned his clothes and shoes. He swept his house, served himself, tied his camel, served his family and ate with the poor. He fulfilled the need of the poor and weak. He walked slowly and lowered his gaze, with continuous sadness, and constant thinking. He never spoke nonsense. He used to be silent for a long time, but when he spoke, he was eloquent and impressive. He had a friendly and not cold face. He was of a noble honest character. He respected and accepted things even if they were very little, and never belittled any of them. He never praised or dispraised food, and never got angry for anything of  this life or for himself. He never sought victory for himself. If he got angry he turned away, and if he was happy he lowered his gaze, he used to strive to bring people together and not to divide them. He sought conciliation and agreement. He displayed honor to every respectful person, and made him the head on his people. He looked after his companions and asked people about their conditions and circumstances. He praised the  good, and dispraised the bad. He did not neglect the rights of others neither did he transgress them. The person who sat with him never thought that there was anyone more honored and respected than he was. He never drove back any one who asked for a need; he either  gave it or  said beautiful words. he was always smiling and gentle. He had a good character, and was meek and not rough, rude or aggressive. He was not noisy, lewd,  faultfinding, or drill. He ignored what he disliked. He never disappointed those who had hope for him. He never scolded or scoffed at anyone. He never followed any body’s defects or faults. He did not speak but about useful good things. When his Companions laughed, he used to laugh with them; and if they wondered at something, he wondered with them. He was patient with strangers and their bad behavior. He never interrupted anyone. Talking about His high attributes needs a great many books; but Allah, the Great, the Almighty, summarized it in one verse: “And verily, you (O Muhammad!) are on an exalted standard of character”. [LXVIII; 4]

Another example of the Prophet’s care about his companions and his modesty is what was narrated by Alhakem in his book of Hadith: Once, the Prophet entered one of his houses. Then, out of a sudden, a lot of his Companions came in; and the room was full of men. Then Jarir Albujali[2] came in and he did not find a place; so he sat at the door. The Prophet (PBUH) took off his garment and threw it to him; and Jarir took it and put it on his face, and began kissing it and crying. Then he returned it to the Prophet (PBUH) and said: “It is improper for me to sit on your garment. May Allah honor you as you did with me!”The Prophet (PBUH) looked all around  and said, “if an honorable man comes to you, you should honor him”.

‘Udaay Bin Hatem[3] narrated, “When I came to the Prophet (PBUH), he threw to me a cushion filled with fiber, and invited me, ‘Do sit on it.’ I said, ‘No, you sit on it’. He (PBUH) said, ‘You sit on it.’ I sat on it, and the Prophet (PBUH) sat on the ground. I was so impressed and said, ‘I bear witness that you do not seek superiority on the earth, nor corruption!’ And I embraced Islam.”

And Baihaqi narrated in his book “Ad-Dala’el” that a delegation from An-Najashi[4] came to the Prophet (PBUH); and He began to serve them. His Companions said to him, “O Messenger of Allah! We will honor them and serve them properly for you.” He (PBUH) said, “They were generous with our brothers and I want to reward them”.

 Whenever the Prophet (PBUH) passed by some children, he used to greet them, and he used to go with the little girl meekly wherever and listen to her. He was very gentle, with good manners, very friendly to live with, bright-faced, cheerful, smiling, and modest (without being low), generous (without being wasteful), softhearted, merciful with every Muslim, and very kind to the believers.                                                                                                                             

In the short biography of the Prophet’s life, by Al-Tabari it was narrated that the Prophet was on a trip; and there was a sheep. The Prophet (PBUH) ordered his companions to prepare it. One of them said, “I’ll slay it.”; another said, “I’ll cook it”. The Prophet (PBUH) said, “I’ll gather some firewood”. They said, “O Prophet! We can do that for you”. He said, “I know that, but I hate to be distinct; and Allah hates to see his slave distinguish himself from his companions”.

No better situation in which a person is prone to slip into arrogance, pride, and superiority than when he conquers a stubborn difficult strong city that has been for so long a relentless merciless enemy. Nevertheless, Upon the conquest of Mecca, the Prophet (PBUH) entered it, as a conqueror, humbling himself to His Lord and remembering His grace on him. Out of modesty and gratitude to his Lord All mighty, the forelock of his turban, nearly touched the neck of his camel.

When Muslims finished with the battle of Hunain, the Prophet (PBUH) began to distribute the booties; and he was most concerned about those whose hearts had been inclined to Islam. In order to attract their hearts, the Prophet (PBUH) gave them most of the booties, although he gave the needy among the fighters.

He (PBUH) did not give  those who were firm in Islam anything from the booties. All Muslims at that time were very keen to have any gift from the Prophet (PBUH), not for the sake of the gift itself but rather because it was from the Prophet (PBUH).

At that moment, Al-Ansar (the Helpers of Medina) began to wonder in bitterness why the Prophet (PBUH) did not give them their shares of these booties. The head of the Ansar heard his people talking about that and became discontented with what had happened. Therefore, he immediately rushed to the Prophet (PBUH) and said, “O Messenger of Allah! The Ansar are not dissatisfied and discontented because they have not been given their shares of the booties.” The Prophet (PBUH) asked him, “And what about you, O Sa’ad?” He replied, “I am but one of my people.” The Prophet (PBUH) said, “Then gather up your people.”

 Before we complete the story we should mention that, when the Prophet (PBUH) heard this talk and this criticism, and when he felt this feeling of resentment and discontent on the part of the Ansar, he was enjoying the highest degree of power, because he had just conquered Mecca, his relentless enemy for twenty years, he had just won the battle of Hunain, and the whole Arab peninsula had submitted to him. In other words, at that moment he was able to omit or kill all these people or at least punish them or accuse them of  hypocrisy. He was able to neglect them and never to pay attention to their criticism, or, at least, to reproach them for their stand, since he was the Prophet of Allah, and the victorious leader.

Do you know what he said to them when he gathered them? He reminded them of their grace on him when they believed in his Call and well received him. He (PBUH) said, “O people of Ansar! What is that which I have heard about you, saying so and so, and that you have a feeling of dissatisfaction?  I swear by Allah if you had wanted to say, you would have been believed, ‘You came to us accused of lying and we believed you, disappointed and we supported you, poor and we provided you, driven away and we accommodated you…”  Then he mentioned his favor, he said: “O people of Ansar! Have not I come to you while you were astray, and Allah guided you by me, poor and Allah enriched you, fighting each other, and Allah made you love each other? O people of Ansar! You got angry for a trivial thing of this despicable life I gave to attract the hearts of some people to accept Islam, leaving you to your firm belief! O people of Ansar! Are you not satisfied if those people returned home with a sheep or a camel and you returned with the Messenger of Allah (PBUH)?! I swear by Allah, had it not been for emigration, I would have been one of the Ansar! And if people take a way, I will take the way of the Ansar! O Allah! Have mercy on the Ansar, and on the children of the Ansar, and on the children of the children of the Ansar.” Impressed by the holy Prophet’s eloquent words,  they cried till their beards became wet with tears. The words of the Prophet (PBUH) filled their hearts with peace, their souls with tranquility, and their selves with health; and they all cried out, together with their leader Saed bin Ubada, “We are satisfied with the Prophet (PBUH) our proportion and share. [5]

If we want to write a book about the Holy Prophet’s great attributes, where shall we put this story? Shall we put it in the chapter about his modesty - the modesty of a mighty person, that of the conqueror, or that of the wise leader? Shall we put it in the chapter about his forgiveness and pardon, when he was at the top of strength, in the chapter about his sincerity to his Companions, who followed and supported him in critical times, or in the chapter about his political genius and how he could calm down people’s anger and extinguish fire of discord and dissension, with some truthful words? Shall we put this story in the chapter about his wise leadership, which makes a friend out of an enemy, close out of a distant, and beloved out of a hateful person.

 May Allah help the writers of the holy Prophet’s biography, how numerous are the difficulties they face when they classify the prophet actions and stands!

O our master, Messenger of Allah! Truly, you are the master of the modest; and really, you are the best of Adam’s children; you have reached the highest rank of human perfection; and Allah chose you by his knowledge to be the best exemplar and the highest ideal for true believers till the Day of Judgment.

May Allah have mercy on Hassan bin Thabet when he said:

My eye has not seen as beautiful as you,                                                                                       

and no woman has ever given birth to one more perfect than you.                                  

You were created perfect with no blemish,                                                                   

as if you were created, as you desired.