Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds, and peace and blessings to our Master Muhammad, the Faithful and the Honest. O Allah, we know nothing but what You teach us, You are the All- Knower, the Wise. O Allah our Lord, teach us what is useful for us, let us make use of what You have taught us and advance us in knowledge. O Allah, show us the righteous things as righteous and help us do them, and show us the bad things as bad and help us keep away from them. O Allah our Lord, make us amongst those who listen to the Word and follow the best meaning of It, and admit us, by Your Grace, to the ranks of Your righteous servants.
Dear believing brothers, this is lesson No. 7 of the series "The Prophetic Noble Qualities". Last lessons, we talked about the Prophet's perfect reasoning and knowledge, and today, we will talk about his exalted standard of character.
Dear noble brothers, the basis and original point of this topic is the following Noble Ayaat from Surah Al-Qalam in which Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ Nun. [These letters (Nun, etc.) are one of the miracles of the Quran, and none but Allah (Alone) knows their meanings]. By the pen and what the (angels) write (in the Records of men).* You (O Muhammad PBUH) are not, by the Grace of your Lord, a madman.* And verily, for you (O Muhammad PBUH) will be an endless reward* And verily, you (O Muhammad PBUH) are on an exalted standard of character. ﴿
It is narrated that the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, was once with his Companions when they saw an insane man. He asked them, although he already knew the answer:
(( "Who is that man?" They replied: "He is insane." The Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, said: "No, he is afflicted (with a mental illness). The truly insane one is the one who disobeys Allah." ))
This means that sound mind should guide its possessor to know Allah the Almighty and to obey Him. Hence, you can test your mind precisely: the more your mind leads you to know Allah the Almighty and to obey Him, the wiser and more intelligent you are. This is actually indicated in the following Noble Hadith:
(( The most intelligent of you is the one who loves Allah the most. ))
At this point, we encounter a confusing problem. I mean, you may find someone who holds one of the highest academic degrees, such as a PhD, who is extraordinarily distinguished and talented in his field; such as literature, science, physics, or mathematics, yet he does not know Allah the Almighty (he is far away from Him), he is immersed in sin, he may drink alcohol, and he neglects his prayers. Well, how can we understand this situation in a way that fits with the idea that true faith is based on sound reason, and that whoever has no sound reason has no faith? Some scholars addressed this problem in a subtle way by distinguishing between intelligence and reason; they said that intelligence is related to specific matters, while reason is related to general ones. Accordingly, not every intelligent person really has a sound reason.
A person does not have a sound reason unless he knows Allah the Almighty, and unless he understands the fundamental principles of life, such as the main purpose of his existence. So, do not be deceived by someone who excels in his field, yet he disobeys Allah the Almighty; such a person might be called an intelligent person, but he can never be called a person of a sound reason.
Out of Allah's Profound Wisdom, He has made some of the lowest creatures among the most intelligent ones; according to some studies, some animals that live in sewers have exceptional intelligence. Thus, intelligence by itself is not sufficient to measure man's moral worth.
Allah the Almighty said to His Messenger, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him:
﴾ You (O Muhammad PBUH) are not, by the Grace of your Lord, a madman. ﴿
﴾ He said: "O my people! Tell me, if I have a clear proof from my Lord, and a Mercy (Prophethood, etc.) has come to me from Him, but that (Mercy) has been obscured from your sight. Shall we compel you to accept it (Islamic Monotheism) when you have a strong hatred for it? ﴿
Dear brothers, you should truly appreciate Allah's Blessings upon you; if Allah the Almighty grants you the blessing of knowing and obeying Him, and accordingly you possess true knowledge of Him and His Commands and Prohibitions, you will mostly adhere to His Path; you will never earn money through Haram (unlawful) means, and you will not violate the rights of others, rather you will remain within the limits set by Allah and never overstep them. This is a very great blessing, or even the greatest blessing of all. Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ Guide us to the Straight Way* The Way of those on whom You have bestowed Your Grace, not (the way) of those who earned Your Anger (such as the Jews), nor of those who went astray (such as the Christians). ﴿
Those who earned Allah's Anger are those who knew the truth but went against it, and those who went astray are those who neither knew the truth nor obeyed Allah the Almighty by following it. On the other hand, the ones on whom Allah the Almighty bestowed His Grace are those who knew their Lord; Allah the Almighty, and obeyed Him. Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ And whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger has certainly attained a great attainment. ﴿
True success lies in not being affected by people's opinion. Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ And most of mankind will not believe even if you desire it eagerly. ﴿
Most people are heedless, unmindful, unaware of Allah's Guidance, and ignorant; they hold in high esteem the wealthy, the powerful, and those who have been granted abundant of worldly blessings, but they may think little of the humble believer whose heart is submissive to Allah, whose mind is enlightened with His Guidance, and who disciplines himself and adopts his behavior. Consider the following Noble Ayah, which can be cited as evidence for this point: Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ And verily, for you (O Muhammad PBUH) will be an endless reward. ﴿
[ Al-Qalam, 3
]
It is an indication that the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, will be abundantly rewarded for remaining patient while dealing with the heedless and while calling them to Allah the Almighty; his reward will be endless. Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ And verily, you (O Muhammad PBUH) are on an exalted standard of character. ﴿
Dear brothers, let me share these words with you: The essence of Islam is having a noble character. There are many authentic Ahadeeth, over 50 ones, affirming that the most perfect among the believers in faith and in Islam are those with the best character, that good character encompasses all goodness, that good character erases sins as fire melts ice, and that good character is a fundamental principle in Islam.
Actually, dear brother, man is created for an eternal life (in Jannah: Paradise), but the price for this eternal life is to restrain himself from impure evil desires, and this is where the importance of good character lies, for it helps one control his evil desires and lusts. Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ As for him who gives (in charity) and keeps his duty to Allah and fears Him* And believes in Al-Husna. ﴿
﴾ But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires, and lusts. ﴿
Courage is the opposite of the inclination toward safety, and generosity is the opposite of the love of wealth. Likewise, performing acts of worship goes against physical comfort.
If you ponder over the Islamic obligations, you will find that the essence of Islam lies in restraining and controlling desires and whims. The more you control your evil desires and lusts, the higher your rank will be in the Sight of Allah the Almighty.
Actually, Islam, in its essence, aligns with Fitrah (innate nature), but it contradicts Tab' (man's nature). In other words, while the body naturally tends toward rest, religious obligations require rising to pray Fajr, for example. Also, according to your human nature, you tend to accumulate wealth, but religious obligations require giving money (as Zakat or Sadaqah) to the poor. Furthermore, according to human nature, one tends to engage in idle talk and backbiting but religious obligations require holding the tongue and avoiding backbiting. Also, according to human nature, man tends to look at forbidden matters, (such as non-Mahram women) but religious obligations require him to lower his gaze.
Verily, the essence of good conduct lies in controlling one's whims, evil desires, and lusts. Better yet, the whole religion can be summarized in just a few words: it is about having good conduct. This explains how the one who turns away from religion, lacks good morals; he eats whatever he wants, says whatever he wants, goes wherever he wants, and is led by his evil desires.
Whoever follows the teachings of Islam exerts a great deal of effort to control his lusts and evil desires, whereas whoever does not follow the teachings of Islam acts according to his lusts without any moral boundaries.
I once said in a Friday Khutbah (sermon) that people (in the Sight of Allah) fall into only two categories; those who have good connection with Allah, and who are disciplined and righteous, and those who turn away from Him, and who are undisciplined and evildoers. There is no third category, whereas according to people's criteria, humans are divided into countless groups, such as the people of the North, the people of the South, the people of the East, the people of the West, Aryan race, Semitic race, the black, the white, the people of color, the people of underdeveloped countries, developing countries, and advanced countries, the rich, the poor, the powerful, the weak, the educated and the uneducated, and so on. However, on the Day of Resurrection, all these worldly divisions will be meaningless and there will be only two categories: The first category is described in the following Noble Ayah in which Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ As for him who gives (in charity) and keeps his duty to Allah and fears Him, * And believes in Al-Husna. ﴿
The second category is described in the following Noble Ayah in which Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ But he who is greedy miser and thinks himself self-sufficient. * And gives the lie to Al-Husna ﴿
Also, the first category is described in the following Noble Ayah in which Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires, and lusts. ﴿
The second category is described in the following Noble Hadith in which the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, said:
(( And the foolish person is the one who subdues himself to his temptations and desires and seeks from Allah the fulfillment of his vain desires. ))
So, this can be likened to a process of classifying people into two categories, as I explained in details in a previous lesson: a person is either a believer or a disbeliever, a polytheist or a monotheist, a disciplined one by Allah's Method or a corrupt one, a doer of good or evil, a righteous person or a disobedient, a sincere person or a betrayer, and a just person or an unjust one. Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ And verily, you (O Muhammad PBUH) are on an exalted standard of character. ﴿
Allah's Description of the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, in the abovementioned Ayah is comprehensive and conclusive. He, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, was the greatest Da'iyah (Islamic missioner), the most fluent speaker, the best scholar, the best leader, and the most eloquent orator, wasn't he? Yet, when Allah the Almighty described him, He praised his exalted morals; Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ And verily, you (O Muhammad PBUH) are on an exalted standard of character. ﴿
Allah the Almighty describes the Noble Prophet in a manner that elevates his status in His Sight. That is to say the person who is granted eloquence, a strong memory, or exceptional reasoning and skills may excel, but his status will not be exalted in Allah's Sight except through his noble traits. If you reflect on the Noble Ahadeeth, you will find many of them affirm that having noble traits encompasses all goodness. Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ And verily, you (O Muhammad PBUH) are on an exalted ﴿ standard of character. ﴿
The preposition "on" here indicates being well-grounded and firmly established in a matter. This means the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, was firmly established in his exalted standard of character.
Some people may attain good conduct only after overcoming their inner struggles; you may hear one of them saying, "I have suffered a lot before gaining control over myself", whereas the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, was firmly established in his noble character from the very beginning. So, Allah the Almighty described the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessing be upon him, saying:
﴾ And verily, you (O Muhammad PBUH) are on an exalted standard of character. ﴿
You may ask, what was the exalted standard of the Prophet's character, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, like? Al-Hasan, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that when the mother of the believers Mrs. A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, was asked about what kind of a character the Messenger of Allah, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, was, she replied:
(( His character was the living embodiment of the Quran. ))
The description makes the matter quite clear and simple. In other words, whenever we recite a Noble Ayah, we should reflect on ourselves and ask whether we are applying it in our lives. For example, whenever you recite a Noble Ayah, which mentions some of the qualities of the true believers, ask yourself, "Am I like those believers?" or "Do I have these qualities?" Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ The believers are only those who, when Alla ﴿ h is mentioned, feel a fear in their hearts and when His Verses (this Quran) are recited unto them, they (i.e. the Verses) increase their Faith; and they put their trust in their Lord (Alone) ﴿
Ask yourself, "Am I like them? Do I have these qualities?"
﴾ This is the Book (the Quran), whereof there is no doubt, a guidance to those who are Al-Muttaqun [the pious and righteous persons who fear Allah much (abstain from all kinds of sins and evil deeds which He has forbidden) and love Allah much (perform all kinds of good deeds which He has ordained)].* Who believe in the Ghaib and perform As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat), and spend out of what we have provided for them [i.e. give Zakat , spend on themselves, their parents, their children, their wives, etc., and also give charity to the poor and also in Allah's Cause - Jihad, etc.]. ﴿
Do you have qualities similar to them? Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ Successful indeed are the believers* Those who offer their Salat (prayers) with all solemnity and full submissiveness* And those who turn away from Al-Laghw (dirty, false, evil vain talk, falsehood, and all that Allah has forbidden)* And those who pay the Zakat* And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts) ﴿
Do you possess these qualities? Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ And the slaves of the Most Beneficent (Allah) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) ﴾ ﴿ they reply back with mild words of gentleness. * And those who spend the night before their Lord, prostrate and standing. ﴿
I wish that whenever you recite a Noble Ayah, ask yourself, "Do I apply this Ayah in my life? Am I among the people described in it?" Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ Truly, Allah loves those who turn unto Him in repentance ﴿
Are you truly among those who repent? Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ And Allah loves those who make themselves clean and pure (i.e. who clean their private parts with dust [i.e. to be considered as soap) and water from urine and stools, after answering the call of nature]. ﴿
There are Ayaat in which Allah's Love for the truthful is referred to.
So, whenever you recite a Noble Ayah of the Noble Quran, ask yourself, "Do I apply this Ayah in my life?"
As I have said earlier, when Mrs. A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, was asked about the qualities of the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, she answered:
(( His character was the living embodiment of the Quran ))
That mean he used to get angry if something Allah forbids was committed, and he used to be pleased if something Allah permits was done. In contrast, someone becomes angry at worldly matters, such as finding the food unready upon entering his home, whereas he shows no concern when his daughter goes out wearing indecent clothes, which displease Allah, Exalted and Sublime be He.
Such a person shows no anger when he sees his daughter wearing indecent clothes in the street, and he is unconcerned about transgressing Allah's Limits, or about violating His Orders, but when it comes to worldly matters, such as having food and drinks unready, he becomes extremely angry.
In fact, the most perfect way to act is to get angry only when one of Allah's Limits is violated. So, the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, would be angry about what the Noble Quran forbids and would be pleased with what the Noble Quran approves.
Ask yourself this question: What really makes you angry at work? Do you get upset over worldly matters, such as receiving no money form the one you have lent, but it is fine to have a financial relationship based on usury?
So, when will your character be in accordance with the teachings of the Noble Quran? It is when you get angry with those who commit what the Quran forbids and when you are pleased with those who does what the Quran approves.
Once again, whenever you recite the Noble Quran, ask yourself these questions, "Am I acting upon this Ayah in my life? Do I have the qualities of the believers described in it?" Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ And those who, when an oppressive wrong is done to them, they take revenge. * The recompense for an evil is an evil like thereof, but whoever forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from Allah. Verily, He likes not the Zalimun (oppressors, polytheists, and wrong-doers, etc.). ﴿
So, ask yourself, "Am I like these believers?" Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ Verily, Allah enjoins Al-Adl (i.e. justice and worshipping none but Allah Alone - Islamic Monotheism) and Al-Ihsan [i.e. to be patient in performing your duties to Allah, totally for Allah's sake and in accordance with the Sunnah (legal ways) of the Prophet SAW in a perfect manner] ﴿
Do you live by the teachings of this Ayah in your daily life? So, whenever you recite a Noble Ayah, ask yourself whether you are following its teachings in your life or not.
(( Ibn Abi Shaybah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that A'ishah, the Mother of the Believers, (may Allah be pleased with her) was asked about the morals of the Messenger of Allah (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him), and she said: "He possessed the most noble character among all people His character was the living embodiment of the Quran… He was neither obscene nor indecent, nor was he loud-voiced in the markets. He did not repay evil with evil; rather, he would pardon and forgive. Then she said: "Recite: 'Successful indeed are the believers…' up to the tenth verse." So, the questioner recited, and she said: "This is what the character of the Messenger of Allah the Almighty was like."
))
In fact, the main point of today's lesson is that whenever you recite the Noble Quran, compare your own character with the description of the believers mentioned in It; if it matches, then it is one of the greatest blessings Allah the Almighty has granted you, but if there is a distance between them, do your best over time to reduce it until your character becomes similar to the description mentioned in the Quran of the true believers.
The Mother of Believers Mrs. A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, also said:
("No one had better character than the Messenger of Allah, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him. Whenever someone from his Companions or family asked him for help, he would willingly respond: "I am ready to help.")
Allah the Almighty praised the Prophet's noble morals saying:
﴾ And verily, you (O Muhammad PBUH) are on an exalted standard of character. ﴿
He would respond to others with humility; he did not distance himself from his people by ivory towers or formal barriers and rules. So, whenever someone from his Companions or family asked him for help, he would willingly respond as narrated:
(I am ready to help.)
Therefore, Allah the Almighty praised his morals saying:
﴾ And verily, you (O Muhammad PBUH) are on an exalted standard of character. ﴿
Your reply to whoever needs help should be the same. I mean if a poor person or a person of low social rank invite you, you should respond to him, because the more humble and kinder you are toward the poor, the needy, and those of lower class, the better you follow the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him.
Our Master Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that a man called upon the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, three times, and each time the Prophet responded saying with gracious readiness:
(At your service! At your service!)
When a person's doorbell rings, he may ignore the guest and let him wait, or he may not respond to him due to making ablution, for example, but the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, never did that, he was called three times, and each time he said:
(At your service! At your service!)
Dear noble brothers, pay close attention to the following point: If Allah, Exalted and Sublime be He, allows you to help his servants and grants you this honor, you must fulfill that mission in the most perfect way. Furthermore, if a person asks Allah the Almighty to grant him the honor of calling people to Him, he must deal with people with the highest levels of humility and must do his best to serve them. In this regard, one of the righteous worshippers of Allah the Almighty said, "O Allah, my Lord, there is no pleasure in the night except in making Munajat (talking secretly) to You, and there is no pleasure in the day except in serving Your servants."
The most fundamental basic principle of Islam is that Allah the Almighty, the Great Creator, has created you and brought you to existence when you were nothing to be mentioned, and bestowed upon you the blessing of existence. Then, He bestowed upon you the blessing of provision, and finally the blessing of guidance. What you are expected to do in return to these great blessings is to serve His servants as an acknowledgment of His Favor upon you. Thus, the foundation of the religion of Islam is serving Allah's creations as a means of getting closer to Him, without any discrimination since all of them are His servants. Moreover, if you serve non-Muslims, and they notice your integrity, mercy, and care, you may encourage them to embrace Islam, but if you mistreat them, you will push them away from it.
(( Narrated Al-Bara' bin Azeb, may Allah be pleased with him: Allah's Messenger (may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him) was the handsomest of all the people, and had the best appearance. He was neither very tall nor short. ))
[ Al-Bukhari, on the authority of Al-Bara' bin Azeb
]
Actually, being the handsomest of all the people and having the best appearance reflect the inside purity. Namely, when a person's inner self is pure, that purity will definitely appears on his face; when you look at him, you will feel a sense of peace and comfort and you feel the purity and inner light that radiates from him. The spiritual radiance, purity, and light are a reflection of the purity of his soul, the spiritual illumination of his heart, and the perfection of his character.
This is the meaning of describing the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, as the most handsome of all people in face and the best of them in character.
In addition to the spiritual brilliance and purity, the Prophet's face was as beautiful and bright as the full moon; he had one of the most beautiful faces ever. As a poet said:
My eyes have never seen anyone better than you.
No woman has ever given birth to anyone more perfect than you.
You were created free from every defect
As though you were created just as you wished
By the way, in each person's life, there are three types of characters: The person you currently are, the person you hate to be, and the person you wish to be. Tell me what kind of person you wish to be, and I will tell you who you really are.
Some people may admire wealthy businessmen with luxurious offices, cars, gadgets, major deals, and numerous employees, and dream of becoming like them. Others, with modest jobs, may admire a professor who occupies a prestigious position, works only a couple of hours a day, has a luxurious office and students around him, and has published many books. They dream of being like him.
When it comes to the believer, and I say this to you with certainty, his greatest aim is to follow the example of this great Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him. In other words, whenever he enters his home or does anything, he asks himself, "Did the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, use to do this?" Also, whenever he deals with someone, he asks himself, "Is this how the Prophet taught us to behave?" So, he continuously compares his own actions and behavior to those of the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, since the ideal person every believer dreams of being like is the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him.
The narrators of the Prophetic Sirah (biography) said, "The Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, was the most beautiful in appearance and the most perfect in character. Moreover, he was overflowing with noble virtues and exemplary qualities."
(( Abu Hurairah, may Allah be please with him, narrated that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, said, "I was sent to perfect good character." ))
[ Ahmad, on the authority of Abi Hurairah ]
In other narrations, the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, said:
(( I was only sent as a teacher. ))
(( Verily, I was only sent to perfect noble conduct. ))
This Hadith has a very profound meaning, because "only" means the very purpose of the Prophet's mission was to instill moral values in human society. This indicates that knowledge in Islam is a means, not a purpose in itself. Hence, when someone thinks that knowledge alone is everything; he may make many researches, investigations, and studies, may memorize information, and may author many books, until he becomes a leading scholar of his time, yet he does not act righteously, does not perform any good deeds, or does not fill his heart with love for Allah the Almighty. Such a person has actually deviated from the Right Path, and so he is unable to grasp the essence of Islam represented in having good conduct, which is the means to eternal bliss in Allah's Jannah.
(( Imam Malik narrated in his Muwatta' that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, said, "Verily, I have only been sent to perfect righteous character." ))
Also:
(( Imam Ahmad narrated in his Musnad that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, said, "Verily, I have only been sent to perfect good character." ))
The narration of Imam Malik in his Muwatta' is:
(( Verily, I have only been sent to perfect good character. ))
Imam al-Junaid said, "The Prophet's character was great, because his main concern in life was only to get closer to Allah the Almighty."
Let us explain this in details: If a person's ambitions and goals are only related to this worldly life, he will adopt the good manners that help him achieve them, and he will say, "I am doing so to manage my affairs" or "My interest is my top priority." So, if a person's ambitions are just related to this worldly life, he will adapt good manners motivated by self-interest whereas when his main concern is to get closer to Allah the Almighty, he will adopt good manners for this noble goal (not for worldly gains), unlike the materialistic person who does not care about his own reputation, but rather he only cares about acquiring the largest amount of wealth with the least effort.
When one's main concern is to get closer to Allah the Almighty, to bring people closer to Him, to call them to Him, and to make them love this religion, you will find his manners align with this noble concern; he will humble himself, lower himself, show mercy to others, forgive them, give them, and spend of his time, effort, and wealth for this purpose. Thus, generosity, giving, mercy, tolerance, forgiveness, and forbearance are the traits of one whose main concern is to get closer to Allah the Almighty.
The one whose main concern in life is making profit or gaining money becomes overly cautious and strict, whereas the one whose main concern in life is calling people to Allah the Almighty will adopt manners that align with his noble concern, without even realizing it. That is why Imam al-Junaid, may Allah be please with him, said, "The Prophet's character was great, because his main concern in life was only to get closer to Allah the Almighty."
Anther scholar said, "The Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him possessed all the noble manners found in other Prophets who were sent before him, and even surpassed them." Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ And by the Mercy of Allah, you dealt with them gently. And had you been severe and harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you; so pass over (their faults), and ask (Allah's) Forgiveness for them; and consult them in the affairs ﴿
Actually, the Ayaat of the Noble Quran may sometimes carry several interpretations; one of the interpretations of the above-mentioned Noble Ayah is that when Allah the Almighty filled the Prophet's heart with mercy, he, as a result, treated people with kindness and compassion. In other words; mercy leads to gentleness, while hardness of heart leads to severity. Mercy stems from one's spiritual connection with Allah the Almighty. So, the deep spiritual connection fills one's heart with mercy, leading him to treat others kindly. On the other hand, turning away from Allah makes one's heart hard, leading him to treat people harshly.
So, this Noble Ayah can be considered as a law; Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ And by the Mercy of Allah, ﴿
That means, due to the mercy Allah has instilled in your heart, you dealt with them kindly. We, as believers, should take this Ayah as a general rule: The more Allah Almighty fills your heart with mercy, the more compassionate your heart becomes toward people, and the more you will show them mercy, forgive them, guide them, overlook their mistakes, and wish them happiness.
So, because of this mercy, which settles in your heart as a result of your deep spiritual connection with Allah, Exalted and Sublime be He, you become gentle with them. However, had your heart not been filled with this mercy, you would have been harsh toward them, leading them to turn away from you and to distance themselves from you.
This Noble Ayah has a very precise meaning: The spiritual connection with Allah leads to mercy, and this mercy will in turn attract people to you, whereas turning away from Allah will make one hard-hearted which will in turn cause people to turn away from him.
Accordingly, if you want people to gather around you, show them mercy, treat them with humility, forgive them for their mistakes, help them, be generous to them, and devote some of your time, effort, and knowledge to help them. On the other hand, if you want people to turn away from you, treat them harshly. Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ And by the Mercy of Allah, ﴿
The preposition "by" indicates causation; because of the mercy that had settled in your heart, you became gentle toward them. If this mercy had not settled in your heart, you would have been harsh toward them, and they would have turn away from you. Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ And by the Mercy of Allah, you dealt with them gently. And had you been severe and harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you; so pass over (their faults), and ask (Allah's) Forgiveness for them; and consult them in the affairs ﴿
[ Al-'Imran, 159
]
As for the second interpretation of this Noble Ayah, it is: Even if you are an infallible Prophet and Messenger who receives Revelation from Allah the Almighty and who is supported by miracles from Him, and even if you possess all these noble qualities, if you had been harsh to them, they would have turned away from you. Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ And by the Mercy of Allah, you dealt with them gently. And had you been severe and harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you ﴿
This is the case of the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, who possessed all those noble traits, so how about the one who is not an infallible Prophet or Messenger, yet he is severe and harsh-hearted in dealing with people? Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ And had you been severe and harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you ﴿
The one who possesses no noble traits, and he treats people harshly will definitely make others turn away from him.
Actually, the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, was gentle and easygoing, and he used to treat his family, Companions, and all people kindly. Moreover, he used to treat whoever would sit with him with kindness, friendliness, and warmth.
Al-Tirmidhi narrated that our Master Ali Ibn Abi Talib, may Allah be pleased with him, described the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, as follows:
(( He was the most generous of people [in hand, and the most big-hearted of them] in heart. He was the most truthful of people in speech, the softest of them in nature, and the most noble of them in his relationships ('Ishrah). Whoever saw him for the first time (Badihah) would feel awe for him, and whoever got to know him, loved him ))
[ At-Tirmidhi, on the authority of Ali bin Abi Talib ]
Dear brothers, when we read such Ahadeeth, we should not think that we are only reading about the noble character of the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him; rather, we should strive to adopt them. In other words, when you read that the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, was the most truthful of people in speech, you should strive to avoid lying. Do not make excuses that you are poor, and you should provide food for your children, rather be honest and depend on Allah the Provider of sustenance. So, do not belittle yourself by lying for honesty raises a person's status and dignity.
Many Muslims fall into a great error whenever they read about the noble traits of the Messenger of Allah, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, for they say to themselves, "He is a Prophet; we can never be like him." Who told them that they are not required to follow his example? The answer is in the following Hadith:
(( Allah the Almighty is Good and accepts only that which is good. And verily Allah has commanded the believers to do that which He has commanded the Messengers. ))
[ Muslim, on the authority of Abi Hurairah ]
In this respect, what is the essence of Jihad An-Nafs wal Hawa (the struggle against one's ownself and desires)? It is the constant effort to follow the example of the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, in order to make your morals resemble his. This is the essence of Jihad An-Nafs wal Hawa.
So, our Master Ali ibn Abi Talib, may Allah be pleased with him, described the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, as follows:
(He was the most generous of people [in hand, and the most big-hearted of them] in heart. He was the most truthful of people in speech, the softest of them in nature, and the most noble of them in his relationships ('Ishrah).)
Also, Abdullah Ibn Amr, may Allah be pleased with them, described the Prophet, may Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon him, as follows:
(( The Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, never used bad language neither a "Fahish nor a Mutafahish. He used to say "The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character." ))
[ Al-Bukhari, on the authority of Abdullah Ibn Amr
]
O David, remind My servants of My Favors upon them, for souls are naturally inclined to love those who do good to them.)
You cannot, as a Da'iyah (caller to Allah the Almighty), attract people and win their hearts except through your good conduct, not through your knowledge alone. In other words, even though knowledge is essential, it is not sufficient alone. So, when will people listen to you? It is when they are impressed by your good morals; only then will they listen to you sincerely. Thus, before conveying knowledge to others or teaching them, you must first possess good morals.
Sometimes a person's character is incomplete, and he may lack good manners, so when he tries to advise his father, for example, his father will never listen to him, and instead he will react harshly. On the other hand, if the father is impressed by his son's good morals, and that son offers him gentle advice, he may accept it. Therefore, you cannot influence others unless you possess good morals, and you cannot make people truly listen to you unless you treat them kindly.
Some scholars say that the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, was so gentle that, out of his kindness, he never confronted anyone about what that person disliked. Unlike the Noble Prophet, some people are harsh when addressing others' mistakes. For example, one may say to another, "You are a liar", which can be very offensive. Instead, he should be gentler and say, "It seems there is some inaccuracy in your statement." This sentence conveys an accusation of dishonesty, but in a subtle manner. He may also say, "I think the matter is otherwise", or "I think the opposite is true." This implies an accusation of dishonesty, but in a subtle way. Thus, the more refined and gentler a person's soul is, the softer his words become. Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allah ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily! he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend. ﴿
The word "better (Ahsan)" is the comparative form of the adjective "good", meaning you, as a Muslim, should choose the nicest words and expressions upon speaking to others. So, the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, was so gentle that he never confronted anyone with what he disliked.
(( Narrated Anas bin Malik: The Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, was not one who would abuse (others) or say obscene words, or curse (others), and if he wanted to admonish anyone of us, he used to say, "What is wrong with him, his forehead be dusted!" ))
[ Al-Bukhari, on the authority of Anas bin Malik ]
It was narrated that As-Salaf As-Saleh (the pious scholars of former generations) were so gentle in their speech that if one of them wanted to reproach someone, he would only say, "O Allah, be pleased with him. That person made me angry—O Allah, forgive him."
Also, some righteous elderly women did not use any bad word in their lives even though they were illiterate; if one of them got angry with her son, she would just say, "May Allah forgive him, may Allah grant him happiness." Indeed, gentle words are truly lovely and heart-touching. So, we should follow the example of the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, who did not use harsh words even when reproaching others; he would simply say:
(What is wrong with him, his forehead be dusted!)
Actually, soft and kind words open people's hearts, and the difference between those who do good and those who do harm is how they speak and whether they use kind words toward others. The Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings, said:
(( … a good word is Sadaqah. ))
[ Al-Bukhari, on the authority of Abi Hurairah ]
Actually, the value of kind words is often overlooked among peers, but they are deeply appreciated when spoken by someone of higher status, like the case of a shop owner to his workers, a company manager to his employees, a school principal to the teachers, or a hospital director to nurses, etc.
For example, if a hospital director warmly greets a nurse or a janitor saying, "How are you, my son? Are you doing well?" these words can have a lasting emotional impact on that janitor, even for a month. Although it costs nothing, it gives him a real sense of being valued.
So, a kind word from someone of a higher status, such as a teacher to a student, a doctor to a patient, a manager to an employee, or a father to his child, can have a great impact on them and is considered Sadaqah.
I told you once a story about a relative of mine who was working as a teacher in Saudi Arabia. He said, "There were people employed in our school from poor, distant countries, and they used to to clean it, for barely 500 riyals a month. They worked the hardest jobs and they were not employed by the school but by cleaning companies who hire people from Southeast Asia."
My relative told me that because of their low status, neither teachers nor students would greet them, as if they were not human beings. He went on, "One day, one of them needed to enter the teachers' room in order to clean it. A teacher inside the room was pouring a cup of tea for himself, but when he heard the bell ringing, he asked the worker to come in and offered him that cup of tea! That deed had a profound effect on the janitor, it was almost magical; that a teacher had offered him a cup of tea!"
My relative said that the next day, the janitor asked that teacher, "Why did you do that?" The teacher replied, "Because I am a Muslim, and you are my brother in humanity. Then, they talked to each other for a little; the janitor told him that he held a Master's Degree in chemistry! The teacher invited him to his home, gave him an encyclopedia in English, and that janitor read it fluently and was able to answer hard questions properly. Then, after talking about Islam in five or six meetings, he decided to become a Muslim, and so did those who accompanied him."
So, can you believe that just one cup of tea, offered humbly and politely, completely changed a man's life? How far Muslims are from the ethical values that align with their message! The lesson we derive from this story is that a kind word is Sadaqah, as the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, said.
Let me tell you another story, which I am not telling to show off. A friend of mine said to me, "I bought a house in Douma. Each time I moved some furniture there, one of the neighbors brought me a pot of tea and helped me carry heavy things. I was very grateful to him for helping me, even though we did not know each other before." He said to me, "I have actually seen you many times before at the Masjid you go in order to attend Islamic lectures (meaning my lectures), but you have never noticed me." I asked him, "How did you come to that Masjid?" He replied, "One of my friends asked me to accompany him, so I went with him. When I arrived, I greeted you, and you reply to my greetings warmly and respectfully, asking my neighbor who knew you to take care of me. I was very moved by your kindness and decided to continue attending your lectures."
When he told me that story, it left a deep impression on me. I was really amazed that just a warm greeting had such a deep impact on him and convinced him of attending my lectures regularly! I just remember that a man came to me and presented his neighbor to me, so I just said, "Welcome! Take care of your neighbor." Saying it did not cost me anything, but caring for others leaves a deep impact on their hearts.
A kind word is Sadaqah, and warm greeting can win your believing friend's heart, so do not be stingy with your smiles, warm handshakes, heartfelt greetings, asking others how they are, comforting them, offering condolences, or visiting the sick, for these acts strengthen bonds between Muslims and help them build a solid and cohesive society.
If one of your brothers in faith is sick, you should visit him, and if one of them gets married, you should give him a gift, even if it is a simple one; it does not have to be expensive, but he will really appreciate it since it is a token of friendship, as the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, said:
(( Give each other gifts and you will love each other. ))
So, you can give him a small gift, as that is all you can afford and you are not obliged to do more than that, but he will truly appreciate it as a sign of friendship.
By the way, since a kind word is an act of Sadaqah, you should say when you enter your home, "As-Salaamu 'Alaykum (peace be upon you)", following the example of the Noble Companions, may Allah be pleased with them, who used to greet each other again even if they were walking together and a tree came between them. Likewise, if you and your family are at home and then you all get into the car, why not greet each other again? It is really a nice behavior.
So, when one enters his home, it is recommended to say, "As-Salaamu 'Alaykum (peace be upon you)", and when he sits down he should say, "Bismi Allah (In the Name of Allah)", then he should greet his family, because it was narrated that if a person enters his home and says, "As-Salaamu 'Alaykum", Shaitan would say to his followers, "You have found no place to stay", and if he says, "Bismi Allah" before eating, Shaitan would say to his followers, "You have found no dinner to eat", but if he enters without saying, "As-Salaamu 'Alaykum", Shaitan would say, "You have found a place to stay", and if he fails to say, "Bismi Allah" before eating, Shaitan would say, "You have found dinner too!" Then, he will spend most of the night causing arguments and quarrels among the family, but if a person enters his home saying, "As-Salaamu 'Alaykum", Shaitan would leave his house humiliated. So, a kind word is a form of Sadaqah.
It was narrated that the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, was the kindest of all people:
(( Abu Naeem narrated that Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, said: "The Prophet PBUH was the kindest of all people. He never turned away a servant or slave who brought him water in the morning, and he would wash his face and arms. Whenever someone spoke to him, he listened attentively and never turned away until the speaker did. No one ever shook his hand except that the Prophet kept his hand extended until the other withdrew his own. ))
When the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, used to shake hand with someone, he would not withdraw his hand until the other person did. Also, when someone used to speak to him, he would give him his full attention and would not turn away until the other person did. This was the noble character of the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him.
***
Now, let us talk about the Prophet's friendly behavior at home and his pleasant manners with his family and relatives:
(( Sa'd Ibn Abi Waqqas, may Allah be pleased with him, said: The Messenger of Allah PBUH was noble in his treatment of his wives and family members, showing them kindness, joking with them, and treating them with love and compassion. ))
A truly great person is admirable outside, but at home, he is simply a member of his family. So, whenever the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, used to enter his house, he would be smiling and cheerful.
Being cheerful with one's family and children is a sign of a successful marriage. In other words, your family and your children are the closest people to you, so why do you not treat them with cheerfulness and warmth, listen to them when they talk about funny things that happened at school, share pleasant stories with them, treat them gently, play with them, and speak to them kindly?
We should follow the example of the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, who used to treat his wives and family members kindly, who used to be gentle and playful with them, and who used to show them love and kindness.
(( The Mother of the Believers Mrs. A'ishah may Allah be pleased with her, narrated that the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, said: "The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family. When one of you dies speak no ill of him." ))
She also narrated that the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, said:
(( Among the believers who show most perfect faith are those who have the best disposition, and are kindest to their families. ))
Also, Al-Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, said:
(( The best of you are those who are the best to their wives. ))
Also, Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, said:
(( The most perfect man in his faith among the believers is the one whose behavior is most excellent; and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives. ))
[ At-Tirmidhi, on the authority of Abi Hurairah ]
We deduce from these Noble Ahadeeth that the true sign of having good conduct is being a character of exalted manners at home, because outside home, a person's behavior is noticed by friends, employees, managers, and the general public, etc. so he behaves well, as he naturally cares about his reputation and seeks to be admired. This social need for approval makes him more mindful of his actions outside his home.
As I mentioned in a previous lesson, man has a deep social need for appreciation and recognition, so in order to fulfill this need, he behaves respectfully, apologizes whenever he makes a mistake, and performs good deeds.
At home, there is no social observation; no one watches him except Allah the Almighty. Therefore, one's true character appears at home. That is why the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, said:
(( The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family. When one of you dies speak no ill of him ))
Also, Abu Kuraib narrated from Abdah Ibn Sulaiman from Muhammad Ibn Amr from Abu Salamah from Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, said:
(( The most perfect man in his faith among the believers is the one whose behaviour is most excellent; and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives. ))
[ At-Tirmidhi, on the authority of Abi Hurairah ]
I hope your homes become like a garden of Jannah. In other words, even if one lives in a humble house, eats modest food, and has no lavish furniture, when his home is filled with blessings, he will feel as if he is living in a garden of Jannah, and that feeling of tranquility does not come from lavish furniture, elegant decorations, luxury chandeliers, or fridges that are full of food, rather it comes from having healthy marital relationship that is built on love, mercy, mutual respect, and affection. Such a house is truly like a garden of Jannah on earth.
Living in a modest, small home with simple furniture and humble meals never bothers you since your marital life is based on affection and mercy, and so your home becomes like a garden of Jannah. Allah the Almighty says:
﴾ And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. ﴿
That is how Allah, Exalted and Sublime be He, wants the marital relationship to be; marriage basically should be built on affection and mercy. Therefore, the greatest loser is the one who fails to instill a sense of happiness in his own home. In other words, outside one's home, there are many challenges beyond one's control, such as a difficult boss with a bad character, who does not appreciate the good things the employees do, nor does he forgive the mistakes they commit. Let alone, if he sees something good, he never speaks about it, but if he sees something bad, he spreads it to everyone. In contrast, your home is your own kingdom, where you are in control over everything in it. If you cannot find comfort outside, at least you should find it inside, because when you feel a sense of happiness in your home, it absorbs all the troubles of the day, but if one faces hardships both outside and inside the home, life becomes truly unbearable.
Every one of you, dear brothers, should do his best, as much as possible, to apply the Sunnah; to follow the example of the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, so that his home becomes a garden of Jannah through forgiving his family members at times, showing them gentle care at other times, giving them advice at other times, and helping them at other times.
Ibn Sad narrated that the Mother of Believers Mrs. A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, was asked about the Prophet's manners at home; they wanted to know about his character at home, for outside he was known as the Messenger of Allah. She replied:
(( He was the gentlest of people, always cheerful and smiling. He never stretched his legs before his Companions due to his great modesty and perfect dignity. ))
Also, the Mother of the Believers Mrs. A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her said:
(( I once traveled with the Prophet, peace be upon him, while I was a young girl, thin and light [meaning she was so thin, almost skin and bones]. He said to the people, 'Go ahead', and when they had gone ahead, he said to me, 'Come, let us race.' I raced him and beat him, and he said nothing. Later, when I had put on some weight, we traveled again. He told the people to go ahead, and then he said, 'Come, let us race.' We raced, and he beat me this time, laughing and saying, 'This is for that race.') ))
This story carries a deep meaning; the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, treated his wife; the Mother of the Believers Mrs. A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, in a way that is appropriate to her age. In other words, this great Prophet was the best of mankind, the beloved of Allah, the one who received the Noble Quran, who held the burden of conveying Allah's Message; who was the greatest of mankind and who held the burden of conveying the greatest message, nevertheless, he treated his young wife with gentle humor and said to her:
(Come, let us race.)
Why do you not be cheerful, kind, humorous, joyful, and tolerant at home? This will make you among the happiest people, and this is how the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, used to behave at home. Furthermore, the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, used to help his family with housework, which is something most of us fall short in. In contrast, some men mistakenly think that being a "real man" means not giving any kind of help with household chores, while the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, was the greatest of mankind, yet he used to help his family with housework.
The Mother of the Believers Mrs. A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, was asked:
(( "What the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, used to do in his house?" She said, "He would serve his family, meaning he would help them with household work, and when the time for prayer came, he went out to prayer." ))
[ Al-Bukhari, on the authority of Al-Aswad ]
This is a source of guidance for the Ummah; to follow this perfect behavior of the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, and not be harsh or tyrannical at home, especially toward one's wife and children.
The Prophet, may Allah please and Blessings be upon him, instructed people many times to treat women kindly. For example, Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, may Allah please and Blessings be upon him, said:
((
Treat women nicely, for a woman is created from a rib, and the most curved portion of the rib is its upper portion, so, if you should try to straighten it, it will break, but if you leave it as it is, it will remain crooked. So, treat women nicely. ))
[ Sahih Al-Bukhari & Sahih Muslim, on the authority of Abi Hurairah ]
I believe, dear brother, that when a person has a healthy marital relationship that is full of love and harmony, Allah will bless his marriage; Allah is pleased with such spouses, because arguments, disputes, and marital conflicts destroy marital life, and distract one from performing his acts of worship properly. For instance, he will find no tranquility while praying, because he will be overwhelmed with extreme anger, intense nervousness, and a troubled heart.
The Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, said:
(( Treat women nicely… ))
It was narrated in Sunan At-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah that Amr Ibn al-Ahwas narrated that he attended the Farewell Pilgrimage with the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him. He began his Khutbah by praising Allah, glorifying Him, and then he admonished people, advised them, and guided them. One of his instructions in that Khutbah was:
(( I advise you to treat women kindly. ))
Notice how the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, instructed you to take care of women (your mahram women, particularly your wife).
If someone who you deeply respect, such as your kind boss, entrusts an employee to you, and asks you to take good care of him, you will definitely take special care of him out of loyalty to your boss. So, how about taking the advice of the the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, regarding women? Even if your wife is weak or annoying, you are called to show greater forbearance with her mistakes because of your role of leadership.
Your true success is not shown when dealing with a wife of perfect character, but when dealing with a difficult wife. In other words, when you understand her feelings and patiently endure her annoying behavior without losing your temper, you reveal your moral perfection.
Next lesson, Insha-Allah, we will continue discussing the noble qualities of the Prophet, may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him, which is a very important subject.
Bear in mind that the Prophet's greatest mission is to be a good example for us to follow, and to reflect the human moral perfection. As for our mission, it is to compare our morals to his, to do our best to imitate him, to try to improve ourselves, and to exert effort to make our behavior as closely as possible to his.
