In the Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, Most Merciful
The noble qualities of the believing wife:
Dear brother, the Prophet, peace be upon him, said in Hadith Qudsi:
((Allah the Almighty and Glorioussays, "Had I willed to gather the good of this world and the next for a Muslim believer, I would have set for the one a humble heart, a thankful tongue, and a patient body in afflictions. (To a man I would give) a pious wife whom when he looks at he is delighted and who (she) protects herself and his properties for him when he is away from her."))
Dear brothers, the believing wife is not like any other wife, so are her morals. She is like a hidden gem, for she is affectionate, fertile, obedient to her husband and a caretaker of her household. Also, she is satisfied with the little, and she never burdens her husband beyond his scope as she is grateful and patient.
The Prophet, peace be upon him, said:
((Verily your best woman is she who is fertile, affectionate, keeps secrets, and is pious. She obeys her husband and is honorably dear among her kinsmen. When she is with her husband, she reveals her ornaments but conceals it from anyone other than him. She hearkens to his speech and obeys his commands. When she is in private, she dresses herself beautifully and is eager to offer him generously whatever he wants from her. She is usually ornamented (for him) and is not plain as men are.))
The believing wives who have the abovementioned noble traits, will be abundantly rewarded by Allah in addition to the exalted rank they will attain. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said:
((Anas Ibn Malik, may Allah be pleased with him, said that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, "Are you (women) not pleased that when one of you becomes pregnant of her husband and he is satisfied with her, she will be rewarded the reward of the one who keeps fast while struggling in the Way of Allah, and when she gives birth to a child, she will be offered a reward for each drop of milk she produces and for each time her breast is sucked, and if she keeps awake one night to look after her child, she will be given the reward of releasing seventy slaves for Allah's Sake? I am addressing with my words the wives who are pious, obedient and who are not ungrateful to their husbands."))
The Prophet, peace be upon him, said in another Hadith:
((Understand O woman, and inform the other women. Indeed a woman's perfection of her relationship with her husband, her seeking his pleasure, and doing that which he approves of is equivalent to all of that (fighting in Allah's Cause).))
Dear brother, it is reported that Shuraih, who was a judge, met Ash-Sha'bi. This latter asked him about his life at home. Shuraih said, "I have not had any problem with my wife for twenty years." Ash-Sha'bi said, "How come?" Shuraih replied, "On our wedding night, I looked at her and saw a rare fascinating beauty. I then said to myself, 'I should make Wudu', pray two Rakaa't and praise Allah.' When I finished, I found out that she was following me in prayers and finished as soon as I had finished. When the guests left the house, I moved towards her and tried to touch her, but she said, 'Wait a minute O Abu Umayyah (i.e., Shuraih), stay where you are.' Then, she said, 'All praise is due to Allah. We praise Him, seek His aid and ask for His forgiveness. Peace and Blessing be upon Muhammad. I am a stranger to you and I have no idea about your morals and attitudes, so tell me what you like and I will do it, and what you hate and I will avoid it.' She continued, 'There must be among your people a woman that you could have married and a man among my people that I could have married, but Allah has accomplished a matter already ordained in His Knowledge. Allah has given you control over me, so obey Him; either retain me on reasonable terms or release me with kindness. This is all I have to say and may Allah forgive us both'."
Shuraih, then, said, "I found myself in need of giving a Khutbah, which I had not delivered for quite a long time. I said, 'All praise is due to Allah. We praise Him, seek His aid and ask for His forgiveness. Peace and Blessing be upon Muhammad. You (i.e., his wife) have said many things, which, if you stand firm on, you will be rewarded, but if you fail, they will be evidence against you. I love such and such things, and I hate such and such things. You may spread whatever good deed you see, and conceal whatever evil deed you see.' She, then, said, 'What would you say to my relatives visiting?' I replied, 'I prefer that we visit them from time to time, so they will not get bored. The Prophet, peace be upon him said, "Visiting people from time to time makes you more beloved.' She said, 'Which of your neighbors do you want to visit me?' I said, 'The family of such and such are good people, and the family of such and such are bad company.' Shuraih, then, said, "I had a wonderful wedding night and our first year was marvelous."
When the new year came and upon my return from the court, I found my mother-in-law in our house. My mother-in-law looked at me and asked, 'How do you find your wife?' I said, 'The best wife a man can have.' She, then, said, 'O Abu Umayyah, you will be in a worse condition than her only in two cases: if she gives birth to a child or if she enjoys your favors. I swear that men have never been inflicted with a worse evil than a spoilt woman, so discipline your wife'. Then she looked at her daughter and ordered her to obey her husband. I lived with my wife for twenty years and never complained about her, except once, and then I was unfair to her."
Dear brother, this is how a Muslim wife should be. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said as narrated by Tamim AdDari, may Allah be pleased with him:
((It is a right for a man that his wife should avoid keeping away from his bed, should act upon his promises, should obey his orders, should avoid leaving his house without his permission, and should avoid inviting to his house those whom he dislikes.))
Abdullah Ibn Amr Ibn Al-Aas, may Allah be pleased with them both, said that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said:
((Allah does not look at a woman who does not thank her husband while she cannot do without him.))
Dear believing brother, whether you are a young man, a husband or a father, you should look for the believing wife to get married to, and do not be fooled by the beauty of the Fasiqah (sinful woman), for she will cause you misery in both the worldly life and the Hereafter:
(("Beware of Khadra' ad–Diman." They asked "Who is Khadra' al-Diman O Apostle of Allah?" He, peace be upon him, said, "The beautiful woman who comes from an evil root (family)".))
Almighty Allah says:
﴾And do not marry Al-Mushrikat (idolatresses, etc.) till they believe (worship Allah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress, etc.), even though she pleases you. And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikun till they believe (in Allah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater, etc.), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikun) invite you to the Fire, but Allah invites (you) to Paradise and Forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember. ﴿
When the beautiful wife wrongs you, you will not see her beauty any more, and instead you will see her meanness, wickedness, loathsomeness and arrogance. Keep in mind:
((The world is but a (quick passing) enjoyment; and the best enjoyment of the world is a pious and virtuous woman.))
The Prophet, peace be upon him, said in another Hadith:
((Nothing is more benefit to the believer after Taqwa of Allah than a righteous wife...))
((Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or for her piety. Select the pious, may you be blessed!".))
Al-Bukhari reported in his Sahih that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said in a narration by Anas Ibn Malik, may Allah be pleased with him, he said that he heard the Prophet, peace be upon him, saying:
((If a man marries a woman because of her (worldly) status, Allah will reward him only with degradation; and if a man marries her because of her wealth, this will bring him only poverty; and if a man marries her because of her family, Allah will reward him only by humiliation; but if a man marries for the Sake of Allah in order to lower his gaze from other women, to protect himself from sinning and to strengthen his kinship ties, Allah will bless him with her and bless her with him.))
Dear believing brother, if you are a husband, and you want to guide your wife to the Right Path, you should start with yourself, then you can guide her to be upright, chaste and pure. Also, be keen on treating your wife kindly, overlooking her mistreatment and refraining from doing harm to her. Moreover, dedicate some of your time to sit with her in order to teach her about faith, the gist of Islam, some Suwar from the Quran and Prophetic biography. Also, ask her to offer Salah and be patient with her whenever she performs it. After a while, she will bring you happiness after you please her, and she will protect the household in your absence, since you protect yourself from sinning. Always remember dear brother that patience is the best of morals, so do not destroy in one day what you have built in a month. Respect your wife and do not undermine her, lest she does the same to you. It was reported in the Noble Hadith, that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said:
((A man's grooming himself increases the chastity of his wife.))
Dear brother, if you are a father, be keen on teaching your daughters to have these noble qualities, so that they will become, in the Hereafter, a protection for you against Hellfire.
The Prophet, peace be upon him, said:
((He who is involved (in the responsibility) of (bringing up) daughters, and he is benevolent towards them, they would become protection for him against Hell-fire.))
Dear brother, these are the noble qualities of the believing wife. I ask Allah to grant me enough time next Khutbah to talk about the noble qualities of the believing husband who deserves to be the spouse of this believing wife.
Dear brother, call yourselves to account before you are called to do so, and weigh your deeds before they are weighed against you, and you should know that the Angel of Death has reached sh3er and will reach us soon, so pay heed. The wise man is the one who calls himself to account (and refrains from doing evil deeds) and does noble deeds to benefit him after death; and the foolish person is the one who subdues himself to his temptations and desires and seeks from Allah the fulfillment of his vain desires. Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds.
The second Khutbah:
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds, and may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon our Master Muhammad, the Faithful and the Honest, his Family and Companions.
O Allah, we beseech You to show us the way of righteousness together with those to whom You showed it; and to give us good health together with those whom You have healed; and to be our Protector, as You are of those whom You protect; and to bless what You have bestowed on us; and to save us from the affliction that You have decreed –for You rule with justice and You are never judged; and he whom You protect shall never be humiliated, and he whom You make Your enemy shall never be elevated, blessed and dignified are You. We thank You for what You have decreed, we ask You for Forgiveness for our sins, and we repent to You.
O Allah, help us do a good deed that would draw us closer to us. O Allah, increase us [in Your Blessings] and do not decrease us, honor us and do not humiliate us, give us [from Your Gifts] and do not deprive us, be in favor of us and not against us and make us satisfied and be satisfied with us.
O Allah, make us desire what You have made lawful and reject what You have made unlawful, make us by Your Benevolence independent of all sh3er and make our obedience to You turn us away from our disobedience. O Allah, let us not be oblivious to Your planning; do not deprive us of Your shield and do not make us forget Your remembrance.
O Allah, by Your Mercy and Benevolence, raise high the word of truth and this Deen, grant triumph to Islam, dignify Muslims, humiliate polytheism and polytheists, and lead the rulers of Muslims to what pleases You, O Lord of the Worlds, as You are the only One Who is capable over His decreed.