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22-06-2024
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Interpretation of the Quran- Surat Al-Nisa' (4)- Lesson (3 )- Verses [4-5]: Marriage and Family
   
 
 
In the Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, Most Merciful  
 

Marriage contract is the most sacred contract:

 Oh Believing Brother, we have reached the third lesson in Surat An-Nisa’a, in the fourth verse. Allah Almighty says:

﴾And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart, but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allâh has made it lawful)﴿

(Sura An-Nisa, Verse: 4)

 Dear brother. There is no relationship on earth that is more sacred than the relationship of marriage. When Allah Almighty created male and female (man and woman) He made the real relationship between them to be through marriage only, excluding any other relationship. It is not a relationship of friendship, nor any deceitful relationship, nor one of love, nor amusement nor any other kind of relationships. There are many relationships between man and woman which exist now in the twentieth century state of ignorance, which are not relationships of marriage. For there are some relationships that are based on temporary enjoyment, some are love affairs, and sh3er on basis that Allah never permits, because the only pure channel for a relationship between the two sexes is the one of marriage. Therefore the bond of marriage is the most sacred contract in all.

﴾And how could you take it (back) while you have gone in unto each other, and they have taken from you a firm and strong covenant?﴿

(Surat An-Nisa’a, Verse: 21

 Not one of a woman’s closest family members is allowed to see what a husband is allowed to see of his wife’s body; not her father, nor her brother, and not even her son. No one else is allowed all the things that are permissible for the husband. Some scholars, and as a matter of fact the opinion of the majority of them is that if marriage is not meant to be eternal, then it is considered fornication, because if the marriage is temporary, the woman is cheated and deceived. You may divorce her if the reasons for divorce are legitimate and accepted by Allah. But when the marriage contract is made up, and your intention is to end this marriage after a while, then you are cheating your wife. But the situation in today’s world is unbelievable. The statistics in the United States of America show that 90% of the marriages are without a contract, nor any agreement, or papers and the marriage is not registered. It is just merely an act of the man and the woman living together. The woman is usually taken advantage of, and thrown out at any time, or kicked around. It is chaotic. This is why the destruction of the western societies is endless. As for us, thanks to Allah, that so long as our religion which Allah Almighty has blessed us with is still alive, and with the loyalty, faithfulness and shyness we still have, the Islamic World lives with strong bonds in the families, in most cases. These strong bonds will be broken once we imitate the West.

If family is strong, the society is strong:

 A judge in the Islamic Shari’a told me that the rate of divorce in the Muslim countries is less than 1.5 per cent (15 for every thousand) whereas in some other countries the rate is more than 65 %, and the rate of marital infidelity in some countries is more than 70% in marriages,
 Therefore, we find that the cohesiveness in societies is measured by the cohesiveness of the families in that country. It is Allah’s wisdom that the society is built of little cells, and the families are those cells.  Therefore, any system which cares for the family, and strengthens it, and supports it and removes all obstacles preventing its growth will contribute to strengthening the society. Likewise, any system which contributes to weakening the bonds of the family and breaking it up, causing it to deviate from the right path, is a system which in turn destroys the society. I heard that the president of the strongest nation in this world has said a few years ago: “there are five threats facing America”. I thought he was going to say China which is the largest nation in population, or the European Union, but instead he said “it is the dissolving of family ties”. Therefore, we are still in good shape so long as we have our religion ruling us, because our family cells are the main leading cells in society. Just like a brick in a large wall, if the foundation bricks loosen and fall out, the wall will collapse. Therefore, my fellow brother, I tell you clearly: the West is not aiming to defeat us militarily for they are able to do that at times. They are aiming to do so culturally, and that means to destroy the foundations for our families that are built on strong religious foundations.
 Although I have mentioned this earlier, it doesn’t hurt to repeat it again: The protocol of assigning an ambassador of the most powerful country in the world to another country, is to hold a reception at the State Department , at which the State Minister delivers to the Ambassador the letter of credentials, which the Ambassador will submit to the Head of State where the Ambassador has been assigned to. This specific ambassador had been assigned in Bucharest (Romania), and the culture there is that the wife of any official has to be by her husband’s side at any official reception so that she can witness his great days. The assigned Ambassador, attended the reception at the State Department in the presence of the State Minister, and he arrived accompanied, not by his wife, but by his sexual partner (a male).
When the corruption in a society reaches that level, then there is no hope for the success of such a nation. It is a very powerful nation, but when it is measured according to the values scale, it is considered deep in the dirt. Allah Almighty says:

﴾Whoever rejects Evil and believes in Allah hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold that will never break﴿

(Surat Al-Baqara, Verse: 256)

 It means that you won’t believe in Allah unless you disbelieve in ‘disbelief’, and so long as there is a strong evil power that exists and is respected, the road to Allah is not accessible.

Deviation from the Holy revelation has dangerous results:

 Therefore my brother, the rules of marriage that our religion has imposed, are very important, and as I mentioned earlier, the West has started fighting the Muslims not by using lethal weapons, but by imposing upon them ‘ rules in the civil rights ‘. For example (and I have proof to what I will say) the recommendations and decisions of the ‘Conference on Population‘ that was held in Beijing and in Cairo were made almost obligatory, and any country that does not carry out those recommendations will be penalized heavily. One of their recommendations is that marriage is one thing, sexual affair is another, bearing children is still another. So you can marry a woman, have an affair with another, and have children from a third. The wife is not obliged to live under one roof with her husband nor to obey him, and she is allowed to travel whenever she wishes without his permission, and she is allowed to work anywhere without his consent, and she is allowed having a safe abortion, and she is not allowed to get married before the age of thirty, and the girls younger than that (thirty years) are allowed to have an affair under their parent’s supervision, and so forth. The list goes on and on.
 Thanks to Allah, these recommendations were rejected all at once (down to every detail), because they contradict the teachings of our religion, and we have the inspiration from the skies above. We have the verdicts of He Who created the earth and the Heavens. We have a Book which does not allow any evil to get to it, neither in the past, nor in the future. Any deviation from the Divine inspiration will bear severe consequences which none but Allah knows about. In a country like China, a law was enacted recently which doesn’t allow anyone to have more than one child. As a consequence to that law, any family who gave birth to a baby girl, would choke her and get another child until they got a baby boy, only then did they register that child. The result was that fifty million young men could not find girls to marry, and therefore there emerged gangsters who kidnap girls at the age of marriage. This is the result of restricting the number of children to one child per family, and society therefore became imbalanced.
 In addition to that, when we forced the man to give half of his possessions to his wife, many men stopped registering their marriage, and they sufficed with living together without a contract to bond them. What is surprising is that when we change anything in Allah’s teachings we cultivate numerous negative results.
 A brother from North Africa told me: a law has been enacted in imitation of the West, according to which a man should give his wife half of what he owns in case of a divorce. This resulted in the decrease in marriage cases. So in order to solve that problem and for their marriage to continue, the father of the bride would give his daughter’s suitor bonds for a large sum to guarantee that they won’t ask for half his property in case of divorce, and if they do then he can claim the bonds that he has,

To be safe and happy, obey the commands of the All-Knower:

 So my dear brother, these laws and the verdicts which the Quran has determined, and the Prophet PBUH explained, are not man-made , they are from the Creator of Man, from an All-Knower of everything. Allah Almighty said:

﴾And none can inform you (O Muhammad PBUH) like Him Who is the All-¬Knower (of each and everything)﴿

(Surat Fater, Verse:24}

 He is the Expert and the All-Knower. If you own a very complex and expensive machine, which is very productive and useful, what do you do when it is broken down? Suppose you have a neighbor, who sells vegetables, and he is a very kind person; would you give him the machine to fix? His kindness is one thing, and his experience is another. You wouldn’t take your machine except to the experienced dealer where they have experts sent by the manufacturer. Therefore, if you are keen on your own safety and your happiness, you should abide by the orders of the Expert. Allah is the All-Knowing Expert, and He is the Wise Manufacturer, and the ones who manufacture are the only ones you should listen to and obey.

Parents care for their children be instinct:

 We have the instructions from our Creator, instructions from the One Who manufactured us, instructions from the Expert and the Expert should be obeyed. Allah is capable to have brought all people to this world altogether, and to have caused them to die altogether. But He warranted to bring them to this world in succession and to take them in succession as well; and so long as that is the case, then it is possible that a father dies leaving young children behind him. So, there is a problem represented in the loss of the greatest provider for the children, their father. When the Arabs wanted to blaspheme someone they would say to him: You have no father. The father is the greatest supporter of the child. Because Allah has made a father’s love for his children and the will to support them and upbring them an instinct, therefore it is a setup and not a duty of a man. Is it reasonable or sensible to make a decree that people have to eat? That would be impossible, because eating is a natural habit. It is an instinct. On the other hand, Allah Almighty has ordered the children to look after their parents, because caring for the parents is a duty and not an instinct, whereas when the parents care for their children it is in their nature. I don’t say that there is no reward for a father who makes sure that his child eats, and he looks after providing clothes for him and an appropriate place for him to sleep, but I say that the reward for that is minimal, because when one does, it is in his nature to do so. It is a merciful act that is natural and is not acquired. So when does the father get a reward? He is rewarded if he is very committed to looking after his son’s religion, morals, and upbringing and when he is keen that his son works to be on the path leading to Heaven, and if he is the cause for him going to Heaven. I tell you my dear brother, that if a father hinders his son from trying to find his way to please Allah Almighty, and when a father does not allow his son to become religious, and that son becomes a great religious scholar, the father is not rewarded, because the father did not want his son to become so. If that is the case, then he is not rewarded, because all acts are rewarded according to the intentions. Therefore, the father who encourages his son to become a good son, a true believer who follows the orders of Allah Almighty, and if his son becomes like that, then the father gets a great reward from Allah. Therefore, due to the fact that the people come into this world in succession and they leave it in succession, there exists the state of death, and with death there is the state of orphanhood, and with the state of orphanhood there are widows, and this exists in the whole world. That is why Allah Almighty says

﴾ And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart﴿

 In the last lesson we referred to verse (2) of Surat An-Nisa’a, in which Allah Almighty says:

﴾And give unto orphans their property and do not exchange (your) bad things for (their) good ones﴿

(Surat an-Nisa’a Verse: 2)

 Another verdict related to marriage is the fact that the contract of marriage is the most Holy contract ever, and that Allah Almighty ordained a dowry (obligatory bridal money) for the bride, and it is a gift from Allah to the woman, and it is a right which Allah gave to women, and this is why He commanded the husbands to pay the bridal money to their wives. This means that any marriage contract that does not include bridal money is a corrupt contract, and it is a defected contract, noting that there is a difference between a defected contract and an invalid contract. The first can be corrected by paying the dowry, whereas the latter cannot be fixed.
 There are four conditions for a marriage contract to be valid. It is essential to have an offer (by one party), acceptance (by the other party), a dowry or bridal money specified and two witnesses. One of the conditions of marriage is to specify the bridal money (dowry). Allah Almighty says:

﴾and give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart﴿

 So, if a woman gets married without a dowry, or with very little insignificant dowry such as a silver Dirham, the wife becomes insignificant to her husband, and he may divorce her for the least problem, whereas if the dowry was significant, that would make him think before considering to divorce her. It will make him think twice. Sometimes, divorce means for the man that he should pay a sum of two hundred thousand Syrian Pounds as a deferred dowry. This makes him think twice before he decides to divorce his wife.

Invalid contract and null contract:

 Allah Almighty says:

﴾He (prophet Shuayb) said (to Moses): "I intend to wed one of these two daughters of mine to you﴿

(Surat al-Qassas, Verse:27)

 This is the offer (first condition).

﴾on condition that you serve me for eight years, but if you complete ten years, it will be (a favor) from you. But I intend not to place you under a difficulty.﴿

(Surat al-Qassas, Verse:27)

 This is the dowry fixed (second condition).
 In fact this is the perfect attitude to be taken by guardians of girls.
 Moses replied to him saying:

﴾He [Mûsa (Moses)] said: "That (is settled) between me and you, whichever of the two terms I fulfill, there will be no injustice to me, and Allâh is Surety over what we say.﴿

(Surat al-Qassas Verse:28)

 This is the acceptance (third condition).
 The fourth condition related to witnesses is met when Moses said:

﴾and Allah is Surety over what we say﴿

Mahr is necessary as Allah ordered to pay it

 I personally do not encourage the big amounts for a dowry, because the greatest women request the least dowry, yet I do not encourage the idea of ignoring the dowry or cancelling it. So both cases are extremes and I am for having a reasonable dowry which our Islamic habits recommend. So bridal money is necessary because Allah Almighty has imposed it, and because Allah has commanded the men to present to their wives: [ And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart], it means this is a gift from Allah. Some scholars interpreted the Arabic word ‘Nihla’ to mean: “with a good heart, and without any intention of taking it back”.
 I will tell a story that is related to this. It was told to me by a friend of mine who is familiar with all the parties involved: a man proposed to a girl. He liked her beauty, but he did not like her faith. She was too conservative, and when they married and moved to their house, she did not comply with all his whims and urges, and she did not accept to mingle with his friends, nor stay up with them nor even be among them. He did not like that and he wanted a modern wife who was very out-going. But his wife had a very high dowry. So his mother suggested to him to make her life miserable so that she wouldn’t tolerate and would therefore give up her dowry. The plan was successful. He agreed to his mother’s plan; he bothered his wife so much, beat her up and insulted her, left her alone for long periods, and let her starve till she finally asked for a divorce forsaking her dowry. That was his mother’s plan, though his father disapproved strongly.
 He was remarried to another woman who was just like what he wanted. Every time he and his friends were in trouble and were saved, his sarcastic remark would be: We escaped this one just as we escaped the dowry of so and so (his ex-wife). But once he was driving his car with his wife by his side and his mother and father in the back seat, he was driving fast and getting between the cars, and every time his father would tell him to slow down and to be cautious, he would say: We escaped this one just as we escaped the dowry of so and so (his ex-wife), until they were near Damascus, where he did not escape the accident.  His car was caught between two cars and his car was cut in half killing both him and his mother. Only his wife and father, who resented what his son did, were saved. Anyone who treats a woman’s right lightly should know that Allah is great and that He will take revenge from him, for He Almighty said:

﴾ And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart﴿

 There are some Hadiths of the Prophet PBUH which indicate that if a man marries a woman setting the amount of the dowry but has no intention giving it to her, will meet Allah (on Doomsday) as an adulterer.
 The Arabic word ‘Nihla’(i.e. with a good heart) means a gift from Allah. You as a believer should obey. ‘nihla’ also means that you have to give the dowry in good faith and with a good heart, and it means that you should have no intention of taking it back ever. Many people who were asked for a large amount of money as bridal money, would say: Ok, I accept it (and write it down), for I have a solution for that. The solution is that he bsh3er his wife and threatens to divorce her until she renounces the money.

Womans own their Mahr and can spend it as they want

 Therefore ‘Nihla’ is to give it with a good heart without planning to take it back. Give it to her because Allah in His High Heavens has commanded that it is given to her and you would therefore abide by Allah’s Command. Allah mentioned:

﴾And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan¬ girls﴿

 which means that if you are a guardian of an orphan girl, you’ll be responsible for her and all matters concerning her life will be in your hands, why has Allah advised you not to marry her, but instead to marry as many of the other women? It is so that you do not do her wrong in paying or setting her dowry, because she will be too shy to ask you as you are her guardian. Therefore, if you fear that you may not do the orphans justice, then marry any other woman.

﴾And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart﴿

 However, when Allah blesses a woman with a loyal, generous, and noble husband who is a true believer, who looks after her, respects her feelings and respects her and gives her what is rightfully hers, and that which she deserves, she will love him in return, and if he is in a financial crisis, she can give him some of her bridal money,
 Allah Almighty says:

﴾but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allâh has made it lawful)﴿

(Surat an-Nisaa, Verse:5)

 So if your wife tells you:”take my bracelets, sell them and use the money”; and if she is honest and truthful, and she loves you and considers you as her hope in life, then there is no harm in doing so. On the other hand, if she inherits money, it is not acceptable for you to force her to give you that money by threatening to divorce her if she doesn’t. The greatness of our religion is that a woman owns her dowry, and she is free to do with it what she likes. She makes the decision regarding this, except in very few cases where if she decides to use it to buy illegal merchandise, or any illegal act, or if she decides to use it to run away, you can prevent her from doing so, because she may harm herself, and you being reasonable can prevent her from trading in illegal matters. Many women use their money in illegal ways, for she is not into business and someone may tell her, there is a five star hotel, which hosts prostitutes and alcohol and the profit in that is very high, so she accepts. But in that case, you may prevent her. However, if she does not use her money in evil matters, then she is free to manage her money. Women in the older days did not have that right. Only Islam gave women that right. As a matter of fact in some countries a woman used to be inherited by a son (from his father) just like a piece of furniture.
 The Prophet Peace be upon him, considered the marriage contract so great that in an incident he didn’t want to use his prophetic status in resolving a personal issue; when a woman came to him and asked him to divorce her from her husband, he told her, won’t you reconsider? She was well-learnt in Islamic verdicts and she told him: Do you command me to do so? He said: No, but I am interceding. So she refused and said: I would hate to become an infidel after being a Muslim (because she hated her husband). So the Prophet (may Peace be upon him) said to her husband: Divorce her (once) and he told her: give him back the garden (which was given as her dowry). This is the ‘Mukhala’a’ when a woman asks her husband for divorce.
 Allah Almighty says:

﴾but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allâh has made it lawful).﴿

 One of the greatest acts of worship is working to get the money you need:
 Omar (may Allah be pleased with him) said: A man may apply pressure on his wife, or may be nice or ask for her sympathy, or he may seduce her and she may give him some of her money, and when she wakes up from her stupor, she may feel sorry for doing so. In that case, she is allowed to take back what she gave him. This is the opinion of Omar (may Allah be pleased with him), this is to honor a woman and give her freedom and respect and ensure that she does not use same in a way that does not please Allah Almighty, Who says:

﴾And give not unto the foolish your property which Allâh has made a means of support for you﴿

(Surat An-Nisa’a, Verse:5)

 Frankly, your life depends on the money you have, so with your money, you got married, and with money you bought your house, and with money you provided for your family the food and drink, and with money you bought clothing for your children, and with money you got the satisfaction of your wife, and with money, you took your sick children to the doctor, and with money you paid for their schools so they got their education, and with money you paid in charity to the poor and needy and got the satisfaction of Allah. So money is the basis of life. And he who is ascetic about money is a fool and quite stupid. He would have to be put in a humiliated position. I pray to Allah Almighty for you and for myself with this famous prayer: “Oh Allah, we ask You to maintain our dignity by having sufficient wealth.. Oh Allah, don’t make us poor and in need of other people, in which case we’ll have to praise those who give and blame those who don’t, while in Your Hands alone are the treasures of the heavens and earth”.
 The major plan of the enemies of Islam is to make the Muslims poorer. They do that by trying to close down the charitable societies, and their aim is to make the Muslims poor. I say one of the great acts of worship is to earn money to defend and safeguard your dignity and to help you get closer to Allah, your Lord. I have not seen or heard any statement from anyone of the Companions better than that of the one who said: “My love for money is to safeguard my dignity and pride, and to help me get closer to Allah my Lord, and to feed my children and put clothes on them, to live in a healthy home and provide them with food and drink, and take them to the doctor when they get sick”.
 So he wants money to protect and safeguard his dignity and his family.
 Therefore he who perfects his job and is committed and excels in his job, so that his hand is the upper hand (that gives money in charity rather than takes) is considered in the highest ranks of worship. It is an act of worship to earn your living with your hands on the condition that your occupation is a legal one in the first place, and you use it in lawful jobs, and that your aim in it is to suffice yourself and your family and all the Muslims, and that it won’t deter you from your religious obligations nor from any act of worship. When all these conditions are met, your job will be considered an act of worship.

Quarter of women’s religion is their obedience to husbands:

 Dear Brother, the grandeur of marriage in Islam is that Allah is always present with the couple (husband and wife), so each one is afraid of Allah if they treat the other unjustly, and each one serves the other so as to get closer to Allah. Therefore, Allah Almighty says:

﴾And among His Signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth﴿

 The Heavens and earth are Quranic expression to indicate the whole Universe, and the Universe is a proof of His Majestic Power.

(Surat Al-Rum, verse: 22)

﴾And from among His Signs are the night and the day, and the sun and the moon﴿

(Surat Fussilat, Verse: 37)

﴾And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy﴿

(Surat Ar-Rum, verse: 21)

 Affection and mercy between husband and wife is a blessing from Allah Almighty. This is why when they asked the Prophet (peace be upon him): who is the man to whom a woman owes the greatest dues? He said: her husband. It means that the first priority in a woman’s world is her husband, for he is the main one. How many a woman who gives all her attention to other men and neglects her husband, for example she leaves him for one whole month and says she is visiting her son. What about your husband? A woman who does not care for her husband is one who does not obey Allah Almighty. A quarter of the woman’s faith is her obedience to her husband. If she prays her five prayers, and fasts the month (of Ramadan), and guards her chastity , and if she obeys her husband, she will be admitted to her Lord’s Heaven. Allah does not look at a woman who does not thank her husband, while she cannot dispense with him. (If a man has an evil wife and he does not divorce her, his prayers will not be answered ever.)
 Hundreds and thousands of women wish for a husband, and this one has a husband and a home and children, she eats and drinks and lives well, yet she ill-treats him.

Heroism lies in keeping your marriage:

 Dear Brother, any husband who mistreats his wife is considered to have no faith in the blessing of marriage, likewise any woman who mistreats her husband is considered to have no faith in the blessing of marriage, and Allah will not look at any woman who does not thank her husband, while at the same time she cannot dispense with him. (Any woman who asks her husband for a divorce without a valid reason will not smell the scent of Heaven)
 She tells him: Divorce me. Why? For ridiculous reasons. Likewise he also divorces her for silly reasons, for funny reasons. So I told one of those people: when you divorce your wife for such ridiculous reasons, you will have to go to the scholars’ doorsteps waiting for them to give you the permission (Fatwa, or religious opinion) to get her back. Then you doubt his knowledge. While if the Fatwa is not in your favor, you do not tolerate him. So you are in pain and yet you criticize/ and you lie at their doorsteps because you have committed a stupid thing and you divorced your wife for a silly reason. The sensible person accepts his wife as she is. He can reproach her, stay away from her for a while but he should avoid divorce. Ibn Abbass said: “One of you commits a stupidity and then runs and calls: Oh Ibn Abbass, Oh Ibn Abbass, by Allah Almighty, the most repeatedly asked questions in the mosques are those about divorce. You find a wonderful wife and then her husband divorces her for some silly insignificant reason, or he swears that he will divorce her; and on the other hand, you find that the majority of women whose husbands have forbidden them from visiting so and so person, and the husband swears to divorce her if she does. You find that nothing in her life becomes more important to her than to visit them, just to defy her husband and make him break his promise. This is real stupidity on the part of the wife. Therefore, my brother, the contract of marriage is the most sacred contract on earth and the greatness is not that you get married, rather it is to stay married, and for a woman, the greatness is not that she gets married, it is to be married to a good man, otherwise she will be divorced soon. Therefore Allah Almighty says:

﴾And among His Signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth﴿

 and

﴾And from among His Signs are the night and the day, and the sun and the moon﴿

 and

﴾And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them﴿

 but the most wonderful part in this verse is

﴾and He has put between you affection and mercy﴿

 Affection: Is a behavior that displays love. Because you love your wife, you smile in her face, and because she loves you, she will do anything to please you. But if these benefits are ceased, for example she gets really sick, does that mean that you have to divorce her? The answer to that is: No. He Almighty says:

﴾and He has put between you affection and mercy﴿

 So even if there is no affection, there is the factor of ‘mercy’. There are many women who stay at home to cook and feed their paralyzed husbands. Therefore when I said earlier that the rate of divorce in the Islamic world is less than 1.5% (or 15 per thousand) this is a perfect rate. But unfortunately, nowadays this rate has increased to 15% (so 15 per 100 cases), and the cause of this increase has been related to the increase in satellite dishes.
 I pray to Allah Almighty that each one of us be happy in his home and that he treats his wife in a way that would make her love and obey him, and that every woman treats her husband in a way that makes him love her and serve her better: Allah Almighty says:

﴾And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart, but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allâh has made it lawful)﴿

 As a joke some scholars said: Ask your wife to give you a dirham of her dowry and buy honey with it, and dissolve the honey in rain water and drink it. Enjoy it because Allah said:

﴾and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allâh has made it lawful)”, and because Allah Almighty said: “And We send down blessed water (rain) from the sky﴿

(Surat Qaf, Verse:9)

 In conclusion, I say all praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds.

Questions related to marriage:

 Question: Can you explain the following phrase: “Whomsoever has an evil wife and doesn’t divorce her, his prayers will not be answered.”
 Answer: Yes this is an authentic hadith by the Noble Prophet. If a wife defies her husband and is extremely evil, she swears at him and hits him at times, while he is the only man in her life, should he stay with such a wife in such a state of humiliation? No.; She should be taught a lesson and she should stay without a husband. So, if she is divorced, she will go to live may be with her brother and will be serving him. She had a husband, a home and children, and when she behaved like that, it is as if she threw away the blessing that Allah had given her. So she is without mercy, a tyrant, and haughty. Such a situation is very stressful for the husband. Why then should he tolerate such a wrong behavior? So this statement is a true authentic Hadith.
 There is another interpretation for this: The wife might think that her husband does not divorce her, because he is afraid. Such an understanding should not exist in the marriage relationship. This relationship should be one of security and comfort.
Question:
 Ibn al-Mubarak had a terrible wife, but he was very patient with her, so how could we reconcile between what the Prophet has recommended and what Ibn al-Mubarak did?
Answer:
 Very easily. If you believe that your patience with your wife will make her a better person, then you should be patient. But if she considers that your patience is a sign of weakness on your part, or fear or humiliation, then you should not act with patience towards her. The Noble Prophet (PBUH) said:

((put your whip where your family will see it))

 It means that you have a weapon, do not discard it, and keep it with you. However, this does not mean that one should swear to divorce his wife with every threat he makes to her. If you divorce a pure, obedient wife who is a true believer, it is like the Throne of the Merciful has shaken. In fact I have seen thousands of cases. I receive several questions every week about women who despise their husbands. They hit them at times. A wife curses her husband’s mother and father, nothing can make her pleased. She makes her husband bring money for her even if through illegal channels. This is a kind of woman whom you should not accept or tolerate her attitude and behavior, and in fact these are very special and unique cases in society.

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