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Islamic laws allows every Muslim to fulfill his desires in lawful ways:
Dear brother, last week an esteemed brother told me something and I will tell you what he said word by word, he said: “To my knowledge, there is no evidence whatsoever that Ikhtilat (mingling between females and males) is forbidden in Islam”.
According to Imam Ali, May Allah be pleased with him, he said: “The backbone of religion and of the worldly life is four men: outspoken scholars who act according to their knowledge; ignorant folks who are not too arrogant to quest for knowledge; rich folks who are not stingy in assisting sh3er; poor folks who do not outsell their religious beliefs for worldly affairs; Once the knowledgeable ones hide their knowledge, the ignorant will become too arrogant to seek knowledge and once the rich are stingy with their wealth, the poor will trade their afterlife in exchange for this world and the world will start to retreat.”
It is acceptable that you say:”I don’t know” and believe me the sentence “I don’t know” makes half of knowledge.
A few men from the far west visited Imam Ibn Hanbal the great scholar and asked him 33 questions. He gave them answers to 17 questions only and when they asked him about the remaining questions he said: “I don’t know”, so they were surprised and said: “Is it possible that Imam Ahmad doesn’t know?”
If Imam Ahmad said: “I don’t know”, then you should follow his steps when you don’t know something and when you are sure of a piece of information, say it, but if you are not then say: “I don’t know” for this sentence makes half of knowledge.
Now back to that brother who said: “ To my knowledge there is no evidence whatsoever that mingling between females and males is forbidden in Islam”.
This statement is not true. Some educated people and some common ones utter words like: “The woman makes half of the society” well though this is true, I would say further: “The woman makes the entire society” because when you educate a girl, you are actually educating an entire family, but when you educate a boy, you are actually educating one man only.
Thus the woman makes the entire society; however there are limits that should be considered.
You should know that Allah installed the love of women in man’s heart, and vice versa, and this love spreads on a 180 degrees angle, However Islam allowed you to express this love in a narrow angle only (which is marriage and not other unlawful affairs).
Every desire in mankind has a clean path in Islam through which it is fulfilled, so accordingly, the woman for a Muslim man is the wife, the sister, the daughter, the mother, the aunt, the grandmother of the father or mother and the granddaughter of the son or the daughter, and those are the Muslim’s Maharim (women who are Forbidden to men (for marriage).) with whom man can meet while they are wearing decent baggy clothes, but when indecent clothing prevailed inside houses beyond the permitted limitations, problems emerged incarnated in incest and these are results of indecent clothing inside houses.
Every lust installed is a means of exalting or of falling:
Dear brother, the first point: In the Noble Quran there are more than 100 proofs that Ikhtilat is forbidden.
The esteemed brother, who said what he said, mentioned the word “, To my knowledge there is not a shred of evidence…”
Whereas the Quran has more than 100 proofs that Ikhtilat is forbidden, but before I go into details let me start with the following Ayah:
﴾Say, "Do you know better or does Allah (knows better...; that they all were Muslims)? ﴿
Allah the Almighty is Al Khabeer (The All-Aware) and Al Aleem (The All-Knowing), He is the One Who created us and He is the one who installed these desires in us.
The second Ayah:
﴾And none can inform you (O Muhammad) like Him Who is the All-Knower (of each and everything). ﴿
The third Ayah:
﴾Should not He Who has created know? And He is the Most Kind and Courteous (to His slaves) All-Aware (of everything). ﴿
I keep repeating the following: Any desire installed in man by Allah might be our means to exalt to the highest ranks or to backslide to the lowest of the low.
When man is married to a pious chaste woman, they both will have sons and daughters from that marriage then after a while they will have sons and daughters in law and grandchildren as well, so this entire blessed pyramid of offspring comes from a biological sexual relation, whereas the same relation can take place in any brothel, hence, the sexual intercourse might be your means to exalt to the highest ranks or it might be your means to fall to the lowest of low.
Faith is a scientific, ethical and aesthetical rank:
Dear brother, there are two kinds of scandals since olden days till the present day : moral and financial.
The wise Islamic law safeguards the Muslim from being backslid financially or morally, and thus the believer is always privileged with a good reputation, he always walks holding his head up high and he doesn’t mind people’s blames because he follows Allah’s path.
The believer has a very exalted moral rank, he abides by the Quran and Sunnah, he acquires a knowledgeable rank, he gets acquainted with the foremost fact in the universe (knowing Allah), he is introduced to Allah’s method and the believer reaches an aesthetical level with which his choices in life are more exalted than sh3er’.
Common people go to picnics and spend their time shouting, making noises, playing backgammon and their women are half-naked while strangers are feasting their eyes on their beauty, so when they go back home, quarrels, blaming and blaspheming start, and the husband starts blaming his wife for the looks of strange men at her, whereas the wife starts accusing the husband of being so nice to strange women.
On the other hand, the picnic of the Muslim and his family is of a special kind which is free of all this nonsense.
Therefore, faith is an ethical, aesthetical and knowledgeable rank.
The foundation of Tashree’ (law-giving) is built on regulating the relation between male and female and legislating the financial transactions.
The lion's share of Fiqh goes to affairs with women and financial transactions, so upon legislating the two, the Muslim will become protected, esteemed and he won’t fear any blames.
When someone is engaged to a woman, and he gets married to her, this happens publically by the consent of both sides (the bride and the groom). Then when the wife gives birth, there will be a ceremony, congratulations and gifts, because marriage is a permissible matter.
On the other hand, a friend told me that one day he heard a knock on his door at 4 AM, and when he opened the door he didn't see anyone, but down on the ground there was a sack with something moving inside it, it turned out to be a newborn baby from an unlawful relationship.The one who gave birth to it put it in the sack and left it outside his door.
By comparing this newborn baby to the one of a father and a mother who are lawfully married, you will find a big difference. Joy, congratulations, blessings, gifts and pleasure will overwhelm both families (of the father and the mother), while the newborn baby who comes from adultery, is a disgrace and unbearable scandal, although the lust in both situations is the same.
You should bear in mind that every desire installed in man by Allah has a lawful path through which it can be fulfilled.
I am addressing the youth: O young man, don’t assume that there is a deprivation in Islam, for there isn’t.
Accordingly, you are allowed to follow your own lusts with guidance from Allah, and this is mentioned clearly in the following Ayah when it says that the one who is astray is the one who follows his lusts without guidance from Allah, therefore it is allowed to follow the lusts with guidance from Allah:
﴾And who is more astray than one who follows his own lusts, without guidance from Allah? ﴿
This is known in “Elm Al Usool” (principles of Islam law) as “Mafhoom Al Mukhalafah” (an implicit meaning on which the text maybe silent but is nevertheless in harmony with its pronounced meaning) which makes the previous Ayah give a clear permission to man to follow his lust with guidance from Allah, and this is manifested in marriage which is a Divinely blessed relation (between man and woman), and as the prophetic supplication goes with regard to the newly wedded couple:
“May Allah bless you both, bless your lives, and bless your children“
The western culture allows women to show their beauty:
The woman is molded to love adornment (wearing jewelries, putting on makeup and the like) and it is permissible within limits in front of her Maharem, whereas she can use them limitlessly in front of her husband, but in no case should a woman do that in front of strange men.
Now what did the western culture do?
They allowed the woman to show her beauty to every person in the street, thus she turns from being a sister to you upon using the Islamic dress code, to being a female showing her body and she becomes a prey for every beholder and there is a big difference between the two situations.
When the woman shows her skin, she makes a target of herself for street harassment (Eve teasing), now what is the nature of this harassment?
Men would harass the woman by insulting words, or they might make a pass at her, and in this case it is an assault, but the more dangerous assault is done by the woman towards man, how is that?
This assault takes place when she shows her skin and beauty to everyone, for this is a kind of assault.
A brother told me that he watched on one of TV channels the news of a young man in an Arab country who raped and killed 10 girls.
A social researcher got permission from the minister of Interior to interview this man on air, and she asked him: “What is your name?” and he mentioned his name, then she asked: “Are you a Muslim?” he said: “Yes”, she asked: “Do you pray?”, and his answer was negative, then she asked: “Do you memorize Al Fatihah?”, and again his answer was negative (so he was very ignorant), and she said: “Then why did you do what you did?” His answer was as wise as words that might be said by a psychologist, for he said: “Their clothes were the reason”, and upon hearing his answer she asked: “if you see a woman in Hijab would you rape her?” He said: “No way, because she is like a sister to me, and I will kill whoever molests her”.
This is an ignorant young man who is poorly educated and illiterate, but he said: “Their clothes were the reason”.
Sins prevail because of Ikhtilat:
Dear brother, believe me, 90 percent of adultery is caused by Ikhtilat, and do you know with whom the adultery is committed? It is committed with the husband’s friend in most cases, and how does this friend come to know her? He knew her through mixed-genders dinners, picnics or any other social gatherings.
Whenever a complaint of Zina (fornication) of a married woman comes to me I always ask: “Who is the person, and how did he get acquainted with her?
In Most cases the result is that this fornication takes place because of Ikhtilat.
Allah is Al Aleem (The All-Knowing), Al Khabeer (The All-Aware), and Al Hakeem (The Ever-Wise).
Countless of the like stories are results of chatting with girls on the internet, and most of the time they end up with Zina, obscene photos, blackmailing and finally pimping.
Hence, the only clean path in Islam to fulfill desires is marriage:
((In the most authenticated book after Quran (i.e. Sahih Al Bukhari), Ibn Abbas reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “No unmarried man should be alone with a woman, and a woman should not travel except with her guardian.” A man stood up and said, “O Messenger of Allah, I have been enrolled in an expedition and my wife has left for the Hajj pilgrimage.” The Prophet said, “Go and perform the pilgrimage with your wife.”))
This means that the prophet PBUH decided that for this man, escorting his wife to Hajj and performing it with her is better for him in this case than Jihad in the cause of Allah, though the latter is the summit act of worship in Islam.
The prophet forbade Khulwah with any strange woman:
Dear brother, there is a delicate indication in the Hadith, for the prophet PBUH didn’t say: “no Kafir or Fasiq is alone with a woman” he said: “No man is alone with a woman” and man (here) can refer to a believer, Kafir or Fasiq, and here is the Hadith:
((No man is alone with a non-mahram woman but the Shaytaan is the third one present))
Through the humble 35 years I spent calling to Allah, I have heard thousands of stories about adultery, most of which started with Ikhtilat and ended with fornication.
Sa’d Bin Abi Waqqas said a remarkable thing:
“Three things I consider myself as a real man by doing them and in the otherwise I am just one of the common, (one of the three is)… I never heard something from the Prophet PBUH but I knew for sure that it is the truth that is revealed to Him from Allah the Almighty…)).
Allah says also in a very precise Ayah:
﴾These are the limits (set) by Allah, so approach them not. ﴿
The other Ayah is:
﴾And come not near to the unlawful sexual intercourse. ﴿
Staying away from the triggers of sins:
The Quran doesn’t forbid Zina (fornication) directly, yet it orders us not to come near Zina, and this indicates that Khulwah (a man being alone with a woman) is but approaching towards Zina, so as befriending despicable persons, feasting the eyes on women’s beauty, walking half-naked in public and the like of acts which are but few steps before Zina.
The desire in man is like a rock on the top of a mountain which overlooks a deep valley, so if you push this rock from the summit even for 10 meters downhill, it will never stop before reaching the bottom of the valley, and this is the likeness of desire, for the minute you arouse the desire, it won’t stop before committing Zina.
This whole thing starts from a meeting, a smile, indecency and then comes Zina.
Had a psychologist made a research about the cases of fornication, he would find that they start that way.
Allah says:
﴾And come not near to the unlawful sexual intercourse. ﴿
It is reported that Jesus PBUH said an outstanding thing which goes as follows: “The chaste is the one who avoids the reasons of sinning”
((Okbah Bin Amer reported that the Prophet PBUH said: “Beware of entering upon women.” A man from among the Ansaar said, “What about the in-law, O Messenger of Allaah?” He said, “The in-law is death))
The brother in law sometimes talks to his brother’s wife, smiles to her or jokes in front of her, and she takes him as a brother to her, only he is not.
Dear brother, the in laws are the brother of the husband and his relatives, so let me tell you this: The majority of Muslims do not fall in major sins like killing, adultery or drinking wine, yet most of them fall in violations which they assume to be minor sins, but according to Allah they are Major sins.
Most families in Damascus hold mixed-gender banquets where the sons in law and daughters in law are in the same place, and everyone is looking at other women in the family, and one of them might say to himself that this woman is much better than my wife, so why didn’t they let me see her before I saw my wife.
These comparisons lead to big problems, because everyone longs for perfection, and upon discovering that he has got less than that, he won’t be pleased with his life ever again.
The prophet PBUH said:
((Do not befriend but a believer, nor should other than a Taqi (pious person) eat your food))
Follow the Sunnah and Allah’s method in your banquets, for as far as I know, there are very few families in Damascus who avoid Ikhtilat in their social gatherings.
The requirements in front of strange men:
1- The woman should follow the Islamic dress code:
Dear brother, there is no doubt that the plot of Satan is very weak, but the plot of women is mighty:
﴾Certainly mighty is your plot!﴿
The desire is aroused by women not by Satan, and if we want to talk about the Islamic law in this regard: women can meet with men when they are folulowing the Islamic dress code, where there is decency, where there are serious discussions, where there isn’t any soft talking or immortality and when there is a necessity for these meetings.
2- The woman shouldn’t go out of her house frequently:
The second point: a woman should limit the times she gets out of her house:
﴾And stay in your houses﴿
This means: the woman’s house should be the first place for her dwelling, and when she has to get out of the house:
﴾and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance﴿
As for men:
﴾Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do.﴿
3- The woman should wear Hijab ():
A woman should wear a Hijab and decent clothes which don’t reveal the details of her body or the color of her skin, and which aren’t transparent or tight but loose and long.
4- A woman talk decently with men:
Women should abide by the Islamic manners in every serious talk:
﴾but speak in an honorable manner.﴿
When a woman is buying something, she shouldn’t talk softly to the seller and say nice words like: “we are your neighbors”, “we deserve a discount” or “your heart is tough on us”
﴾then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery, etc.) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner.﴿
Negotiating with the sellers is the mission of husbands not wives. When the woman buys something, she shouldn’t say anything that might move desires in men.
Among the Islamic manners which should be followed by women in public is to avoid any kind of adornment, to follow the Islamic dress code, to lower their gaze and to avoid Ikhtilat anywhere and anytime.
Finally…
I say my words seeking forgiveness from the Almighty Allah for me and you, so seek His forgiveness in order to be forgiven, for those who are forgiven are the ones who excel, O Allah forgive me.
***
Second sermon:
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds and may He bless and grant peace to Muhammad, the Faithful and the Honest, and may Allah bless his folks and companions.
Returning to the exalted manners:
Dear brother, I read the following story on a website and I found that it manifests a strong proof of the benefits of loving the prophet PBUH since we are celebrating the memory of his Mawlid (birthday) PBUH.
A poor villager from the West Bank in Palestine was heading home after he collected the annual crop of olives from his farm, he got them squeezed and filledthe oil in 30 tanks. This would provide him with the money that covers the needs of the entire year, his children’s education, his food and drink.
When he arrived at the barricade set up by Zionists on the entrance of the camp, they wouldn’t let him in unless he pays the price, so he asked: “What is the price? They said: “You have to badmouth Mohammad PBUH.” When he refused to do so, they threatened him of destroying all the tanks, but he refused, so they started shooting bullets at the tanks and the olive oil spilt out over the ground. The heart of the villager spilt with it but because the love of Mohammad was deeply rooted in his heart he gladly paid the price and he lost the money of an entire year, and all the dreams of tomorrow collapsed before his eyes, as well as money for the education of his children, the debts which he won’t be able to pay back and the bills he had to pay. . He headed home after losing the crop of an entire year, but surprisingly he found 30 tanks of olive oil in his house waiting for him, and he realized that the people of his village knew about his story so each one of them dedicated one tank of olive oil to him till they were able to send 30 tanks to his house.
When we go back to these manners, when we belong to the group of Muslims and when we cherish our religion no one will look down on us because Allah exists and because everything is in His Hand, but when we neglect Allah, we, as Muslims, will be neglected by Allah.
Man’s value accords with his good deeds:
I will never forget a wealthy man in this nice city (Damascus) who wanted to build a Masjid in a neighborhood where there was none. He looked for a suitable land and found one which was inherited only a few months back by a person who worked as a doorkeeper in an elementary school. That man used to earn 3000-4000 per month, he was married and had eight children. He used to live in a very small old house, and that land was the only property he owned. The wealthy man met the owner of that land , and started bargaining with him. Both of them agreed that the land was worth 3.5 million Lira, so after they signing the contract the wealthy man wrote a check of 2 million Lira and said, "I will pay the rest when you officially transfer the ownership of this land at the Ministry of Religious Endowments (Ministry of Awqaf)." The land owner was surprised, so he asked, "What does the Ministry of Religious Endowments have to do with the land?" The wealthy man replied, " I want to build a Masjid on it." Upon that, the owner of the land tore the check and said, "I should with greater reason than yours dedicate this land for the sake of Allah" and he did. The wealthy man said to me, "I have never been in a situation in which I felt so little other than the one I was in before that man." He felt that his donation was nothing compared to that man's donation.
A taxi driver used to drive between Damascus and Beirut. A young man and a young woman asked him to give them a ride to Damascus, but they said: “Please wait 15 minutes we are waiting for a bag”, so he waited. 15 minutes later an old man in his seventies came with a bag on his head and he pushed it to the young man who poked him on the head and said: “Why are you so late ?”? Then he took the bag, he put it in the car trunk and they moved. Upon reaching Aleh (an area in Lebanon) the taxi driver overheard the young woman saying to her husband and reprimanding him: “Why did you hit your father?”, suddenly the driver stopped the car and asked: “was that your father young man?, step out of my car, for I will never give a ride to an undutiful son”.
This is enjoining Ma’roof and forbidding Munkar.
Dear brother, we keep talking about the well-known charitable persons, but by Allah there are charitable unknown ones in every corner, and they are very well-known to Allah.
The orderly in the previous story was very poor and his salary was not more than 4000 Liras a month and his house was leased, yet he donated the 4 million worth land he inherited when he knew that it was going to become a Masjid and he said to the one who was about to buy it : "I should with greater reason than yours dedicate this land for the sake of Allah".
Dear brother, your value in the sight of Allah accords with your good deeds.
Supplication:
We beseech you Allah to show us the way of rightness, together with those to whom You have showed it; and give us good health, together with those whom You have healed; and be our Protector, together with those for whom You have become their Protector; and bless us in what You have bestowed on us and save us from the afflictions that You have decreed, for You rule with justice and You are never judged. He whom You protect shall never be humiliated and he whom You make enemy shall never be exalted. Blessed and dignified are You, and we thank You for what You have decreed.
We seek your forgiveness and we repent our bad deeds, O, Allah guide us to perform a good deed, as you are the one who guides to the best of deeds.
O, Allah Guide us to best conducts, for it is only you who guide to the best of them.
O, Allah make us do well in the religion which is our dignity and make our lives good for it is our living and make us safe on the day of judgment for it is our final destination please make the life our supply for all good things and make the death a rest from every evil our master the Lord of all worlds.
O, Allah please make me with what You have made lawful needless of what You have made unlawful and make me with Your benevolence independent of all sh3er.
O, Allah raise high the word of truth and religion, and grant victory to Islam, and dignity to Muslims and give them triumph all over the world and in all lands, O, Lord of the worlds.
O, Allah show us your mighty by destroying our enemies, as you are The Generious.
